Shame on a Nigga

Nigger. Nigga. My nig. Nigra. There. Got it out of the way. I figured that if I was going to offend anyone I might as well start the show with it. One of my favorite rappers, Nas, recently attempted and succeeded to some degree, to put “the” word back into the realm of public debate. Even he was humbled in the presence of taboo. Marketing and mass appeal concerns forced what should have been a statement of progression in Hip-Hop into a nameless martyr. In a rare moment I actually applaud an artist for trying to have his art actually stand for something. As a black man raised in the South I can firmly say that there isn’t a more instantaneously polarizing word known to man. Followed closely by Republican. I kid, I kid. Even my old nemesis Webster agrees…

it now ranks as perhaps the most offensive and inflammatory racial slur in English.

My question is…should it be?

I recognize that racial slurs have a deep and storied history. With nigger being the elder statesman of the group. It epitomizes the depth of hatred that weaves across the fabric of this country. That will never change. Hordes of elder African-Americans have a different relationship with it than I and most young blacks. Then it was singularly synonymous with the bilious hatred and subjugation of an entire race. (Technically black isn’t a race….blog coming soon) I am not discounting the pain that I know its usage has caused. I still remember the first time I was slurred upon. It was my freshman year of high school on the JV basketball team traveling to play our rival Ledford High. (yes I’m calling them out!) In my neck of the woods this happened to be where most of the white kids in our area went to school being that they served the county rather than the city. They also held the reputation of being openly racist. Needless to say, we were hype upon arrival only to be greeted with eggs and rocks. They even called in the deputies to “assure safety.” The whispers grew into audible “f*ck them niggers” as we left the locker room and got on the court. I wanted to fight, we all wanted to fight. It was an innate feeling of being disrespected that ran across the entire team. Now I don’t know if it was the fact that our team had only one white person, or the fact that we used to beat the ever loving dog shit out of Ledford in every sport from football to softball that made them hate us so. They just did. (Or maybe it was my boy Brian giving their best player the meanest forearm shiver known to man….not so sure anymore)

This blind hatred is often the case for most people that hold ill feelings toward another race. Toby asked the perfect question in “Got Yourself a Gun”…

why do you hate that man down the street? Why is “nigger” the first word you run to when you feel that unexplained disdain?

Conditioning.

Which runs both ways. My teammates and I at the time were not fully aware of the complexities of the racial divide and the deep seeded hate in the South. We just knew that if a white boy called you nigger you better reach for his spine through his mouth! Even now as a grown man who considers himself a progressive thinker, I bristle up just thinking about it. Once again I am forced to ask why. We give power to the word when we react like “niggers.” Yeah, his jaw might regret him saying it but he is now justified in his labeling. And further feels excused when he relays the story to his son as proof of niggerdom. It baffles me that a man can call you a son-of-a-bitch, basically spitting in your mom’s face, and he wouldn’t get such a response. Cries have been heard for years calling for a change in the public perception of black people. It starts at home and with the most famous slur known to man. We are definitely more than the word nigger but we will never escape it. As a race and culture we have defied and overcome any and every attempt to destroy us as a people. Nigger is a tool that has been used for years to strip African-Americans of their pride and self worth. Take the power away from the bigots by taking in stride what they are trying to use to trip you up. Spit in their face figuratively by recognizing their hatred for what it is; ignorance and fear. It isn’t really an insult if you are not insulted right?

I won’t even dignify the “nigger vs. nigga” argument by giving it more ink thank I am doing now. Personally, I think that is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard in my life. To suggest that the word should mean nothing solely based on its pronunciation is a weak justification for what we know makes no logical sense. Webster’s punk ass even recognizes the contradiction, the definition earlier goes on to say…”Its use by and among blacks is not always intended or taken as offensive.” ???. This side of the dichotomy deals with what I believe Nas was trying to accomplish. To publicly put on the lips of white America a word that is most definitely used in private. Members of the African-American community use the word nigger like the word smurf. It flies fast and furious and I would venture to say that most blacks don’t even realize how much they say it. I challenge anyone to listen to the radio or watch the top hip-hop videos and find a song where it isn’t used in the hook, ad-libs, and verses! The part that kills me is that young white kids are far and away the biggest financial supporters of Hip-Hop right now. I went to a free Ghostface concert at a hole in the wall this spring and literally had to seek out the black faces! Did any of the white people hesitate to sing along when Ghost rocked “Shame on a Nigga?” Hell no, to answer the question. Some were hesitant when the first hook rolled around. I saw a few look around to see if any beer bottles were flying their way after their first screw faced, in public “nigger.” And…Nothing. Here was a club full of white faces shouting, “shame on a nigga, who tried to run game on a nigga” and there were no riots…no fighting…no hate. Frankly, any artist that puts the word in their lyrics is automatically acknowledging that he/she is encouraging whites to use the word simply by singing along to their songs. We are the most emulated population on the planet. If you want the word to disappear….guess what?

Now please don’t get it twisted in thinking that I am encouraging or even saying it’s ok for whites to add it to their lexicon permanently. I am merely suggesting that we don’t give the hate mongers the power by allowing the word to devolve us. If a white man calls me nigger I can’t say I won’t reach for his thoracic vertebrae. I’m not perfect. I’m just saying that he can call me “chump” with the same amount of hatred and I still might reach for his T-6

–Seymour Monet

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Ask A Guy - Do Men Fake Orgasms??

Q: Do men fake orgasms?

A: Yup. We sure do…

Thanks for the questions!  Keep ‘em coming!

Oh…you want to know why?  Alright, I’ll break it down for you:

I don’t feel like using clinical terms, so we’re gonna get a little raunchy.  If that’s not your steez, now would be a good time for you to click another link.

Here we go:

After a guy busts a nut, a little recuperation time is needed (sometimes he needs til morning).  But most guys can usually take a break and then get it crackin again.  The gifted few *brushes dirt off shoulder* can keep their stroke going while they are recharging.

But ladies, you knew this…

Here’s what you may not have known: Each nut after the first is a little tougher/trickier to get.  The second bust is fairly common.  It’s also usually the showstopper.  After that second nut, there’s a wonderful relaxing…kinda empty feeling that washes over us (that’s why we usually ask you for a sandwich.  We NEED that shit).  But every now and then, we go for that illustrious third orgasm.  It is the toughest to achieve, but if we feel even an inkling that says we can pull it off, we dive right back into…ummmm…you.

And that’s when it happens:

After a few minutes we realize…it ain’t happenin.  Mr. Happy might be staying up and doing his job, but after each nut the sensitivity of our dick changes and it often times has nothing to do with you.  It just ain’t happening.  Meanwhile, there you are—our girlfriend or just our lady for the evening—riding, keeping the knees up, or backing that thang up.  I mean you are doing your damn duty!  And still…

It ain’t happenin…

So what do we do now?

Just stop?  Pull out and tell you the truth?  In that moment would you even believe us?  Would you not wonder just a little bit if it’s your fault?  I don’t want that insecurity creepin in.  I want you to just keep throwing that thing around with reckless abandon!

So what do we do……We fake an orgasm.

Everyone is happy. We get a sandwich (please). And we both go to sleep. And that’s why we do it.

AND…

That’s also why women shouldn’t do it!!  You see, we fake it very rarely and it’s only because you were feeling so lovely that we thought we could go overboard in search of that 3rd or 4th nut.  We do it because your shit was good!  Women do it cause shit AIN’T good!!

Women, you deserve to get pleased!  You deserve your nut as much as we do.  And if you ain’t gettin it, don’t fake it! 

Show that fool!

Teach that fool!

If need be…grab one of your toys or use your hands…to HELP that fool.

But don’t fake it…Because then you’re only cheating yourself.  And there’s no need to…

I’ll be a fool for you…

–Preston

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Note: Check out the NEW “Dear You” site.  You’ll thank me…

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No Blacks or Mongols Allowed

It is amazing what one may find surfing the internet after a day of working. Much to my chagrin, I have found that neither me nor my Mongolian love and touch would be allowed in a bar in the worker’s district during the Olympics. Potentially, this will be the center of social activity during the Beijing games.

O.k. now let me be easy here and toe this line properly. It is one thing to get after a racist hacker or clown the Jesse Helms lover from South Carolina, but it is a completely different matter to give the most populous country in the world a dosage of ether.  This story is a hard one to stomach though. Some of their fears may be based on legitimate criminal acts but it is the matter in which these fears are being handled.

This is an excellent opportunity to do some mini research on China as I only know what I’ve been able to obtain from various programs, classmates, and movies (when did Chinese people lose the ability to fly?) Seriously though, it is one of the oldest surviving civilizations on Earth. Put them in perspective by checking out the Wiki article on the United States:

• The first indigenous peoples were thought to have migrated from Asia around 12000-40000 years ago
• St. Augustine (the first European settlement) was founded in 1507.
• Jamestown was the first successful English settled in 1607. It’s a shame what happened to the poor Roanoke settlement.
• Pilgrims settled Plymouth in 1620
• The 13 colonies declared independence on July 4, 1776.

1776? The Great Wall was built around the 5th century BC. I respect that. Many kingdoms and empires have risen and fallen since then yet China has stood through this all. It would be tough to judge a culture by our standards when it has been around far longer than our US culture.

With that said though, it is Communist meaning the government controls the country and its policies with a heavy hand. The very idea of the Olympics in China creates of conflict interests as far a human rights. There again, I cannot with a clear conscience say that is wrong to have the Olympics there. Germany, while under Hitler, hosted the 1932 1936 games. The US has hosted the Olympics several times and we all know of our human rights indiscretions. To me, it seems terribly conflicting to have games there with the protests over China’s policy on Tibet. While the other host countries have faced some of their past indiscretions for the most part, Chinese government officials appear to march to its own tune when it comes to human rights.

Racism whether intentional or not is an atrocity. Banning Blacks and Mongols does nothing to improve the image of China, and we knew this was not a bastion of civil rights. Ironically, during March of this year, China was removed from the top 10 list of human rights violators. Some of my conspiracy theorists friends would say it was a ploy by large corporations to freely sponsor the Olympics in spite of the protests. I do not have enough proof to say this is the case but it is strangely ironic. Why would a company not want to the ability to enter a market of or gain a greater market share of 1.3 billion people? An event that should celebrate athletes and the spirit of unity is being clouded by being held in a country that doesn’t appear to believe in its motto.

On the other foot, the money must be really good for a black person to deal drugs in China. Six people got capital punishment for drug trafficking in China. Word???? These were repeat offenders but come on man. You feel comfortable being the dope man in a place where this ish is going down? I have friends who got a couple of years in the pen for trafficking. CHINA IS GIVING CAPITAL PUNISHMENT FOR TRAFFICKING. It is not fair to stereotype an entire group of people by the few who are dumb so someone should beat the brakes off these guys. You have to be plain stupid to take that risk. Still though, categorically denying people simple day to day activities because of their ethnicity is ridiculous.

I have said a lot to say that everyone should do their research and make an informed opinion. This is not an article against the people of China. It is an article against the policies of the Chinese government. Think for a moment, freely expressing yourself is a luxury not had by the people of China. You would not be taking advantage of your rights as a citizen of this country if you did not express yourself.

Let me know what you think.

T. Hustleman

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Got Yourself A Gun

Do you know who this man is?  You should…

Previously Featured on “Ish You Should Know,” I relayed a story about L.F. Eason, a North Carolina state employee of 29 years who refused an executive order to lower the flags for Jesse Helms. Sadly, I don’t think he got his job back for making a solid statement, but hey, my state did elect a racist senator for 30 some odd years. It can’t be expected they would just give the guy a slap on the wrist. Hopefully, karmic balance is restored and Mr. Eason finds employment if he hasn’t already.

On to Part deux of my article…You may or may not be wondering how old Jesse could have had anything to do with the Black Panther Party. Yes, he probably drove a college student or two to don the beret and black leather but we are talking direct here people.

Huey P. Newton was a co-founder of a the Black Panther Party movement, and who did he credit as one of his greatest philosophical influences?

If you guessed — Jesse Helms???

I should slap you right now…

That gentleman’s name is Robert F. Williams. It’s a shame that I am a man of 30 years and in my 30th year, I stumble upon an article about Robert Williams.  As a child in Monroe, NC, Robert Williams so the beating of a black woman by local law enforcement. The officer who carried out the beating was none other than Jesse Helms Sr., father of Jesse Helms Jr. After learning this, it gave me a whole different perspective on Jesse Helms Jr. For me, growing up in NC, Jesse Helms was like a barbecue sandwich and sweet tea. It was just something part of the fabric, but now I realize it is so much more. Here is a man obviously raised as a racist painting himself as a leader. This wasn’t a man preaching unity or progression of race relations. This was a relic of a time that should have long passed. Again, I applaud Mr. Eason for standing up.

Check out the video below.  It is rather long, but give it a listen as you have time. While watching, it made me think about the leaders who have fallen. What would the King say in an interview 20 years later or what would Malcom X say?  Robert Williams and the Monroe movement are muted pieces of the Civil Rights movement. In the interview, he speaks of an old white man crying saying the negroes have guns. I am not an advocate of violent resistance but Mr. Williams’ resolution was profound. He realized society would change once black people learned how to be equal. Sadly, it was the gun in that instance but the gun is knowledge now.

It is surreal how amazing that resolution was and I don’t care to make this ethnocentric. This is a societal issue.  Violence these days is inbred. Why do you hate that man down the street? Is it because he’s black? Mexican? He wears red, black or gold? If you don’t know why you hate him? Is it because of what you learned from those before you? Robert Williams hit the nail on the head. Young people need a leader or a cause. Get high off resistance to someone telling you that you can succeed because you are certain ethnicity. I am black and proud. If someone is going to hold me back, it has to be me. I am not going to use barriers as an excuse but as a reason to succeed. The interview got me kind of fired up.

Now, I wonder how much of American history has been locked away from me. What do I know about immigrants in New York around the turn of the century or the Japanese during WWII? This isn’t just a black issue. It’s an American issue. I watched an interview about a man who traveled the world without a passport. Granted, his passport was being on the FBI most wanted list but he has seen more of the world than me. I just read about blacks being banned from bars in China duing the Olympic games but Robert Williams was a catalyst in attempting to improve the relations between the US and China. Robert Williams was also an inspiration for third world liberation. If Cuba is an example, I cannot say it turned out all positive but it proves how far reaching a man with a cause can be.

Get off the substance and let learning be your drug. Far be it for me to pontificate, but learning is a drug—and it’s my drug of choice right now. I learned that there were blacks taking up arms in my home state as apart of the movement before the Panthers.  That wasn’t in my history books but I found it anyway.

T. Hustleman.

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Ask A Guy - Quick Hitters

OK, so this section is becoming a fast hit and we thank you ladies for the questions.  In an effort to get as many questions answered as possible, I took it upon myself to knock out some of the ones that have easy answers.  Enjoy.

Q:  Do men go down b/c they want it back?

A:  We say “hello” because we want head.  So, this answer is yes by default

—–

Q:  Does a tongue ring really make a difference?

A:  Hell to the yes!  Do the batteries in your vibrator make a difference?  Yeah it still

does the job but you have to work a lot harder.

—–

Q:  Do men really care about the wedding?

A:  Hell to the no!  Do you care about the NFL & NBA draft, the Super Bowl, the NBA

Finals and the World Series…or do you act like it to keep us placated?

—–

Q:  Do men care if a woman has jacked up feet?

A:  Yes and no.  I mean we don’t want your feet looking like ours.  If you resemble the

MVP of the barefoot stone kickball league, you might want to keep the footies on.

—–

Q:  Why do guys only ask ugly girls out?

A:  I hate it when people answer a question with a question…but do they???  Are you

ugly?  I need more details…

—–

Again, thanks for the questions ladies!  Keep em comin,

Seymour

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Ladies Lemme Holla Atcha Part 2

So in PART 1, we were discussing how women are so much more than sexual objects.  We were also covering the best way for you to illustrate this to your man.  It went a little something like this:

It’s true that men and women in relationships need time apart.  We like to get away from you for a while and go play ball or whatever.  Just like yall like to ditch us for a while and catch a pedicure or whatever.  But ladies if yall can master just one cool “guy” activity your man is into aside from how you throw that thing around in the bedroom—it’ll go along way for you…

So where did we leave off?  Oh yeah… Right about here:

Now women, you may be asking: Why don’t you advise the guys to pick up an activity that we like—like going shopping with us? Cause FUCK THAT…that’s why! Nah, I’m just kidding. I’ll break down the answer to that question in part 2 of this article.

So let’s get into it.  There is a very short and simple reason for why I don’t advise the latter:

Cause that shit won’t work.

Ya know sometimes I really hate the term double standard.  Women and men are different (see how the two words even sound different when you say them?).  There are times when things aren’t a double standard—they’re just different things for two different groups.  This is one of those times.

You see it’s sexy if you put that thang on us and then grab a PlayStation controller (if you’ve got the energy….he he).  Just like we dig it when we come home and you’re in one of our dress shirts or rockin our Mets fitted hat… But that shit in reverse?

Not so much…

None of you women would be happy to come home and see your man rockin your blouse.  You don’t want him to dick you down and then roll over and grab the latest Sister 2 Sister.  It would be uncomfortable.  You really don’t want that.  My point is simple:

It’s sexy for a girl to do a little bit of guy-type shit every now and then.  But it doesn’t work for guys.  It just doesn’t.  So ladies — that’s why I can’t advise the fellas to tag along on those shopping trips.  And don’t try to lure us in by saying your going to the lingerie shop—-we’ll just check it when you get home!  HA HA…

But fuck all this…I’m single…so I’ll leave you with a song:  –Preston

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Ask A Guy - Are Plutonic (Platonic) Relationships Extinct?

Q: Is it truly possible for a man and woman to be in a plutonic relationship?

Short answer:  No because that would mean that the relationship was formed by the solidification of magma.. So, unless you are messing around with volcano’s I don’t think that will happen.  If you mean platonic then its no for us and yes for you.

Long answer:  This is actually a question I’ve been Hulk Hoganing with for a minute believe it or not.  I’m typically not one to say something absolutely can’t happen because I’ve seen so much occur that I would’ve previously thought impossible.  (i.e. The Two Corey’s, T-Pain)  The problem I have with it is the reciprocation of friendly feelings.  I almost sounded smart there didn’t I?  Anyway.  This is one of the few subjects that you will ever see me waffle on.  Enjoy it while it lasts snitches.  And the first “syrup” joke will get someone castrated.

Since I am tackling this subject for the masses I decided to press pause on my F-Webster movement and look up the word “platonic.”  It reads…

a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex.

Ok, so fuck that…

Look I see it like this.  Relationship is the key word here.  The terms actually contradict themselves because if you listen to that bastard Webster a relationship is defined by being …a romantic or passionate attachment.  Now you see why I say fuck Webster.  Digressing, the other interpretations allow a relationship to range from a friendship to a splackavellie.  What to believe?  Me!  Here it is:

Women are the only creatures that have the emotional facets to allow for several relationship variations.  Men have friends and chicks.  That’s it.  If by rare blue moon a man actually considers a female a friend only, I promise he barely considers her a broad at all.   Sucks…I know.

I would start with the dick in a glass case offensive here but women would inevitably use the “it’s not about sex defense”.  That’s old.  It’s more than that now really.  A “friend” to a woman is whatever she isn’t getting at home.  Conversation, pipe, attention, laughter, longstroke, understanding, making you feel wanted …the list goes on and on.  Men and women can definitely have a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex.  Any routine from a mid-30’s stand up would have you believe that marriage is that way.

Another blog…another time…

But dammit some passion is present!  We are getting the shit end of the stick here and that’s evident.  You get to have your Devils food and eat it too, while we just get blue balls.  Now here is where my belief that all things are possible gets in the way.  Being that you have such emotional range I will allow for certain anomalies that prove this rule…certain childhood/family friends, sweetchucks, and some ex’s.  What you have to realize is that you have the capacity to have “levels” of friendship.  We simply don’t have as many categories…guy friend, girl friend, best friend, friend friend, church friend, club friend, sometimey friend.  Whereas we have the fellas and the “to bone or not to bone”.  That’s it.

While the appearance of a strict, mature non-sexual relationship is evident.  I assure you ladies we are one come hither look away from a porno bass guitar riff.  It is rare and I mean black athlete/black wife rare that you will find a guy that is “friends” with a girl he is no way shape or form attracted to.  For some reason (duh) we won’t even consider just hanging with a chick unless there is a chance we can get down.  Hell, most dudes end up there without a choice!  While I won’t discount the advantages of having some female friends around for some honest feedback and opinions; it just isn’t platonic if one party is looking at the other like a piece of prime rib.  Medium.  Mmmmm.

This is another classic case of something that is sexy in theory and fugly in practice.  Men and women can be friends yes.  Can they be in anything marked by the complete absence of passion, romance and sex?  Let me see if I can channel Smokey.  Hellll naw!

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Some Thoughts on the Obama Cover

A todos,

This whole blogging thing is new to me but it gives me a chance to find a topic and write about it. Truthfully it is what I need as it gives me an outlet from the day job and government name. I kid. My moms gave me that name and I cannot play like I am bound by the name. It is just that the pen name gives me the freedom to speak and maneuver. I will keep it coming because I genuinely enjoy it. My writings are not intended to save you from some unseen force or a push for you personal renaissance. Your responses are even more important than the writing itself because there is discourse. So fear not, there is no black superhero music…yet.

Now that the disclaimer has been laid. It is time for the topic:

The July 21 issue of The New Yorker is a “satirical” picture of the Obamas as terrorists. See the link here. Now, when I heard Obama was running for president, I was worried about how I would take satirical portraits, skits and impersonations of Obama if he were to be elected president. Previously, these types of expression were mere jokes and I laughed at them and was offended by little. It is oh so different now. Now I cannot tell if I was unpatriotic before for showing no sympathy to previously mocked presidents or if I am close-minded for being offended at every mocking of Obama. On this one, I am going to err on the side of this particular portrait being a bit tasteless.

Let’s note the images in the cover. There is Obama in a turban with his wife Michelle regaled in camoflauge with the oligatory Afro. She has an rifle over the shoulder. There is a flag burning in the fireplace with a picture of Osama over the mantle. They appear to be in the White House.

From the link here, I found the following information the following excerpt:

The magazine says the artist, Barry Blitt, is satirizing the “the use of scare tactics and misinformation in the presidential election to derail Barack Obama’s campaign.”

In a statement today quoted by the Associated Press, the magazine says the cover “combines a number of fantastical images about the Obamas and shows them for the obvious distortions they are.”

Pictures are worth a thousand words. The problem is no one ever hears the same 1000 words from a picture and while the response above is somewhat sensible, a picture like that in the wrong hand sends the wrong message. I feel like the picture only fuels the sentiment of the close-minded. A person who fed upon the fear created by the 2004 Bush campaign will look at this and say,”There is now way I can put a terrorist in office.” To that I say free your mind of fear-mongering tyranny. This man is leaving the very dream we’ve used as our tagline almost since our birth. I am not offended by the image as much I will be offended by the person thinks he is a terrorist.

It is definitely tough to not be offended and spit ether. You’ve taken two of the most offending images (a turban-clad man man and a black person with an Afro) and put it to the American public. It’s not the educated lot I am worried about because they are taught to discuss these type of situations and express their ideas. It’s those that feel that this country will need to be run by a white, Christian man forever. If this is truly the greatest nation on Earth, show the world we have turned the corner.

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Relationships - Who do you love???

Seymour Monet has some thoughts on who you should be giving your love and attention to.

LEGAL TENDER RONI

So it’s wedding season, as they say.  Top that off with one of my buddies walking the plank soon.  Splash in the constant questions about why I’m not married from friends and family; and you get a special concoction I like to call “The Million Dollar Dream and the Five Dollar Lie.”

Marriage.

Yeah weddings are beautiful.  Yes marriage is the ultimate display of love.  It’s inside that I cry…seriously.  While they are all of these things, a lot of men are putting the trunk before the Hemi.  I’ll explain.

Ritual and expectations have us fucked up in the game fellas.  It has been argued that all of the actions that men take to better themselves are to attract women.  An arguable point I must say.  I say take it a step further.  Marry the money!  Once again for posterity.  MARRY THE MONEY!  (save the Jerry Maguire jokes)  Make the dough your partner for life.  Get betrothed to that dollar bill.  The vows are already built for it.  “To have and to hold from this day forward.”  (Yes, please!)  “For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer.”  (Sound like the stock market to anyone?)  “In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”  (Some of your wallets look sick right now but some green would bring it right back to life…and we all know we can’t take it with us.)  The value of the dollar will always fluctuate, but you will always need/want it.  Can you say that about your current lady?  (don’t answer that out loud)  Money was there before you could get it up, and will be there to buy the pills when you can’t get it up.  How can you not love that!  Don’t forsake her gentleman.

It’s no secret that we are outnumbered men.  However, this fact seems to be forgotten or ignored.  Wide nostriled dudes chasing women, fronting like they have long paper.  “It aint tricking if you got it”  Stop it silly man.  Yes it is…you can just afford it.  Does a thin pancake become a crepe just because you pay more for it?  No.  All non-herbs listen up; when you earnestly honor and respect the dollar everything else will follow.  Excuse my pimp rhetoric but it’s the only way I know to approach the subject.  When you look, feel and smell like money you are transformed into the Pied Piper.  I’m not talking R. Kelly trolling playgrounds Pied Piper mind you.  I’m talking about, “did that hot ass bartender just slide me her number?” Pied Piper.  For men money equals confidence.  Confidence attracts women.  Period.  And before I get roasted here let me say that all women aren’t miners.  I firmly believe that.  But if you show me one that says she doesn’t want security and I’ll show you a damn lie.

In marriage you have to put the needs of your mate before your own.  Imagine what your bottom line would look like if you treated money better than yourself?  Protected it like a loved one?  Yep.  You guessed it.  She’ll love you back and stay with you forever.  Then the women will always be there…..I PROMISE.  I leave you with words from the genteel Gwen Guthrie and the honorable Huey Freeman.

“Cause nothin’ from nothin’ leaves nothin’  You got to have somethin’ if you wanna be with me….no romance without finance!”—Gwen Guthrie

“Bitches aint checkin for ni**as with beat up rides!”—Huey Freeman

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Monthly Awards - The Tap Dancer of the Month Award

Sorry Jesse, but it looks like you’re the winner of our first “Tap Dancer of the Month” award…

Here at TruthMerchants.com, we have our monthly awards. My esteemed colleague I.M. Haight has already awarded the “Morton’s Make It Rain” award for saltiest person of the month. Ice T certainly gift wrapped himself for a prestigious honor and I thought, “there is no way I could be that lucky”. Well, apparently lightning strikes twice because old Jesse Jackson put himself on a platter for ethering. Jesse Jackson is now the inaugural recipient of the “Tap Dancer of the Month” award. What is this award? It’s recognition for the person who hurt the cause more than helped the cause. He’s shuckin and jivin for the man. I dare not call someone a Tom though. That is just a bit much.

But this is still serious talk. I mean Jesse Jackson is a great man. He marched in the 60s with the King and helped negotiate the freedom of the hostages in Iran. He ran for president…Rainbow Coalition…yada, yada.

Now here’s what makes this YouTube video so amazing.

Even Bill “I hate hip hop” O’Reilly can’t find a just cause for the threat on Obama’s manhood. I mean…who doesn’t say, “Is this mike on?” There’s my first issue. You wanted to be leader of the most powerful country in the world and can’t check to see if the mike is on?

Strike one…

Obama is prime to do one of the biggest things in history, and you’re talking reckless knowing full well the media will eat it up. If you have a problem with Obama, call him on the phone and talk it out like men. If you’re jealous of Barack’s shine, then pocket the hate man! You can’t cry at the victimization of black people in situations like Jena 6 and then let pooh ooze from your mouth at the potential president of the U.S. Your relevance is being questioned. Don’t let your intellect be questioned in kind.

That’s strike two right there…

And strike three is on some old grown man type steez…Barack is in a tough position and can’t really respond with overt anger to such a ridiculous statement. If you were…say…two guys working mill jobs, I’d hope he would punch you in the mouth for threatening to cut off his situation like that. If I say I want to cut your nuts off, I hate you. Unless you and Barack are boys on that level, curb the enthusiam.

I can’t say I see where you are coming from on this one Jesse. Here was a man speaking from the experience of growing up without a father. He was taking men to task on being good fathers. Yes, there are significant issues facing Black America, but how do we know that a proper upbringing wouldn’t cure some of those things? What if a man taught his son the value of earning a dollar instead of the dope man glorifying the quick one? What if a father taught his son that he was a man first and no one can hold him down if he wants to achieve? All too often, I feel like people (of all races) look for the excuse rather than the reason. Nowadays, Jesse, it looks like you’re looking for an excuse to be a valued leader instead of championing a cause. It appears you’ve done what Barack is saying we need to do. Your son put you on blast, probably because you raised him to speak his mind and stand strong. In the realm of black leadership, you’re bordering on irrelevant and it pains me to say that.

Nonetheless you tap danced and for that you must be recognized. This has been a hard week for leaders named “Jesse” in the world of Hustle which leads me to my list of top Jesses.

1. Jesse Owens
2. Jessica Biel because someone has called her Jesse
3. Uncle Jesse from The Dukes of Hazzard
4. Brad Pitt as Jesse James
5. Uncle Jesse from Full House
6. Jessie from that 80’s song because somoene really wanted his girl.
7. Sally JESSY Raphael
8. James James- Nah the OC Chopper Guy
9. Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell
10. Darrell Hammond as Jesse Jackson in black face on SNL because as one of our site visitors put it…We’re racist or at least I am…prick.

There you have it sports fans. You have your Tap Dancer of the Month and a de facto countdown of popular Jesses.

Yours Truly

Tobias Hustleman
Taking pride in being offensive in the 08.

Yes we can…

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