Ask A Guy - Do Men Fake Orgasms??
Preston Swagger
29 July 2008
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9 Comments
Q: Do men fake orgasms?
A: Yup. We sure do…
Thanks for the questions! Keep ‘em coming!
Oh…you want to know why? Alright, I’ll break it down for you:
I don’t feel like using clinical terms, so we’re gonna get a little raunchy. If that’s not your steez, now would be a good time for you to click another link.
Here we go:
After a guy busts a nut, a little recuperation time is needed (sometimes he needs til morning). But most guys can usually take a break and then get it crackin again. The gifted few *brushes dirt off shoulder* can keep their stroke going while they are recharging.
But ladies, you knew this…
Here’s what you may not have known: Each nut after the first is a little tougher/trickier to get. The second bust is fairly common. It’s also usually the showstopper. After that second nut, there’s a wonderful relaxing…kinda empty feeling that washes over us (that’s why we usually ask you for a sandwich. We NEED that shit). But every now and then, we go for that illustrious third orgasm. It is the toughest to achieve, but if we feel even an inkling that says we can pull it off, we dive right back into…ummmm…you.
And that’s when it happens:
After a few minutes we realize…it ain’t happenin. Mr. Happy might be staying up and doing his job, but after each nut the sensitivity of our dick changes and it often times has nothing to do with you. It just ain’t happening. Meanwhile, there you are—our girlfriend or just our lady for the evening—riding, keeping the knees up, or backing that thang up. I mean you are doing your damn duty! And still…
It ain’t happenin…
So what do we do now?
Just stop? Pull out and tell you the truth? In that moment would you even believe us? Would you not wonder just a little bit if it’s your fault? I don’t want that insecurity creepin in. I want you to just keep throwing that thing around with reckless abandon!
So what do we do……We fake an orgasm.
Everyone is happy. We get a sandwich (please). And we both go to sleep. And that’s why we do it.
AND…
That’s also why women shouldn’t do it!! You see, we fake it very rarely and it’s only because you were feeling so lovely that we thought we could go overboard in search of that 3rd or 4th nut. We do it because your shit was good! Women do it cause shit AIN’T good!!
Women, you deserve to get pleased! You deserve your nut as much as we do. And if you ain’t gettin it, don’t fake it!
Show that fool!
Teach that fool!
If need be…grab one of your toys or use your hands…to HELP that fool.
But don’t fake it…Because then you’re only cheating yourself. And there’s no need to…
I’ll be a fool for you…
–Preston
Gotta question you’d like answered…ASK THE FELLAS
Note: Check out the NEW “Dear You” site. You’ll thank me…
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since this site’s been accused of being sexist already, the cheese eating surrender monkey will be the first to call it homophobic. what about gay males faking it? every now and then dude’s poop shoot is a little too loose to squeeze out your juice, so you have to jerk violently a couple times and fall off his back while making sure he doesn’t realize you’re still packing. then you go into the shower to rinse off the feces and stroke your pole while dreaming of dick cheney’s pinhole tight turd nugget.
aloha
29 July 2008 at 11:17 am