Truth Merchants

Tobias Hustleman 14 July 2008 Monthly Awards 127 views 2 Comments Print This Post  Email This Post

Sorry Jesse, but it looks like you’re the winner of our first “Tap Dancer of the Month” award…

Here at TruthMerchants.com, we have our monthly awards. My esteemed colleague I.M. Haight has already awarded the “Morton’s Make It Rain” award for saltiest person of the month. Ice T certainly gift wrapped himself for a prestigious honor and I thought, “there is no way I could be that lucky”. Well, apparently lightning strikes twice because old Jesse Jackson put himself on a platter for ethering. Jesse Jackson is now the inaugural recipient of the “Tap Dancer of the Month” award. What is this award? It’s recognition for the person who hurt the cause more than helped the cause. He’s shuckin and jivin for the man. I dare not call someone a Tom though. That is just a bit much.

But this is still serious talk. I mean Jesse Jackson is a great man. He marched in the 60s with the King and helped negotiate the freedom of the hostages in Iran. He ran for president…Rainbow Coalition…yada, yada.

Now here’s what makes this YouTube video so amazing.

Even Bill “I hate hip hop” O’Reilly can’t find a just cause for the threat on Obama’s manhood. I mean…who doesn’t say, “Is this mike on?” There’s my first issue. You wanted to be leader of the most powerful country in the world and can’t check to see if the mike is on?

Strike one…

Obama is prime to do one of the biggest things in history, and you’re talking reckless knowing full well the media will eat it up. If you have a problem with Obama, call him on the phone and talk it out like men. If you’re jealous of Barack’s shine, then pocket the hate man! You can’t cry at the victimization of black people in situations like Jena 6 and then let pooh ooze from your mouth at the potential president of the U.S. Your relevance is being questioned. Don’t let your intellect be questioned in kind.

That’s strike two right there…

And strike three is on some old grown man type steez…Barack is in a tough position and can’t really respond with overt anger to such a ridiculous statement. If you were…say…two guys working mill jobs, I’d hope he would punch you in the mouth for threatening to cut off his situation like that. If I say I want to cut your nuts off, I hate you. Unless you and Barack are boys on that level, curb the enthusiam.

I can’t say I see where you are coming from on this one Jesse. Here was a man speaking from the experience of growing up without a father. He was taking men to task on being good fathers. Yes, there are significant issues facing Black America, but how do we know that a proper upbringing wouldn’t cure some of those things? What if a man taught his son the value of earning a dollar instead of the dope man glorifying the quick one? What if a father taught his son that he was a man first and no one can hold him down if he wants to achieve? All too often, I feel like people (of all races) look for the excuse rather than the reason. Nowadays, Jesse, it looks like you’re looking for an excuse to be a valued leader instead of championing a cause. It appears you’ve done what Barack is saying we need to do. Your son put you on blast, probably because you raised him to speak his mind and stand strong. In the realm of black leadership, you’re bordering on irrelevant and it pains me to say that.

Nonetheless you tap danced and for that you must be recognized. This has been a hard week for leaders named “Jesse” in the world of Hustle which leads me to my list of top Jesses.

1. Jesse Owens
2. Jessica Biel because someone has called her Jesse
3. Uncle Jesse from The Dukes of Hazzard
4. Brad Pitt as Jesse James
5. Uncle Jesse from Full House
6. Jessie from that 80’s song because somoene really wanted his girl.
7. Sally JESSY Raphael
8. James James- Nah the OC Chopper Guy
9. Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell
10. Darrell Hammond as Jesse Jackson in black face on SNL because as one of our site visitors put it…We’re racist or at least I am…prick.

There you have it sports fans. You have your Tap Dancer of the Month and a de facto countdown of popular Jesses.

Yours Truly

Tobias Hustleman
Taking pride in being offensive in the 08.

Yes we can…