Global Grind
Home | The Merchants | Contact Us
Home » Relationships

Dealbreakers!

User ImagePreston Swagger 15 August 2008 Relationships 276 views 14 CommentsPrint This Post Print This Post Email This Post Email This Post

It still amazes me how a nice smile can be so damn enchanting! Mesmerizing even. It’s like getting knocked in the head with something and being stunned for a few seconds.

She had one of those smiles. And it got me…

EVERYTIME.

Luckily I’m an expert at hiding my feelings (It comes with the testosterone I guess) so no one ever noticed my temporary state of stunned disorientation whenever this girl gave me a toothy grin. But then it happened…my dealbreaker…

We drank together.

And she got BEYOND sloppy.

FUCK!  I hope this isn’t a habit because:

Dealbreakers:

1. Consistently sloppy drunks.  Sure everyone gets a pass on New Years, and the 4th, and Labor Day and Cinco De Mayo, and Thanksgiving (family can be a BITCH), and Christmas, and funerals and weddings, and even Valentine’s Day if you’ve had your heart beat up.  But DAMN isn’t that enough passes?!  When you turn me into a de facto babysitter all the time…you’re fuckin up my buzz!  Deal broken.

2. Women who don’t drink at all!  I know, I know it’s slightly hypocritical, but I don’t think I’m asking for too much.  Just know what you can handle.  Get like me and let’s drink until we’re just short of sloppy and then let the tipsy hookups begin.

3. Cigarette smokers - obvious reasons.  Just can’t fuck with it

NOTE: A female who smokes the occasional cigar is the EXACT OPPOSITE.  Email me if that’s you!

I’m gonna swing by and add to this list throughout the day, but hit me up in the comments and let me know what BREAKS THE DEAL for you!!  (You can skip the obvious stuff like a crack habit or a 3rd arm or whatever).

**Edit 1 My man Mirth reminded me of another good one!! Social Independence…You’ve gotta have YOUR girls and YOUR friends. Go do YOUR own shit from time to time. No matter how fine or cool you are (hopefully both)—you CANNOT be up under ME all that time. Trust me baby, I’m not THAT interesting.**

Peace, Love and A Great Buzz,

–Preston

Rate this:
3.2

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...
Your Ad Here

14 Comments »

  1. Cigar smoker?? really? LMAO that’s funny.

    Lying tops the list but you said no obvious stuff.

    *touchdown in basketball - can you believe there are men out there that don’t love sports. I can’t date someone i can’t watch a game with.

    that’s all i can think of right now..

    Rate this:
    		3.2
    //no imageBahama (Who am I?)
    15 August 2008 at 9:58 am

  2. A chick with a cigar is kinda hot. Now you shouldn’t be smoking that shit like every day. LOL…

    Also, hearing you say that you can’t date a guy who doesn’t love sports is the sexiest thing I’ve heard today!!

    If a dude has a girl who isn’t into the game…that’s one thing. If a girl has A GUY who isn’t….you should slap him in the mouth and leave.

    i feel strongly about this…LOL

    Rate this:
    		3.2
    //no imagePreston Swagger (Who am I?) (author)
    15 August 2008 at 10:22 am

  3. I post up this one that I posted before:

    A dealbreaker for me is when a girl is not independent and needs/defers her decisions to her mom/dad. That kills me and crosses them right off the list. I agree about the cigarettes being a dealbreaker as well.

    Rate this:
    		3.1
    //no imageMirth Nadir (Who am I?)
    15 August 2008 at 10:38 am

  4. Here is another one:

    Let me add another one that the ladies might get a little salty over. I think if the female (I am a male BTW) is just horrible at managing money and has consistently bad credit, that is a dealbreaker. Imagine how you feel working hard trying to pay the bills and your SO is out shopping and spending money that should be going to bills and stuff. Now I am not talking about HER own money … but like the joint account stuff … and if she has no concept of the repercussions and consistently driving up the credit card bill and not paying it off or taking responsibilty for it .. that can be a dealbreaker. If she wants to learn or goes on a 5 step program, I can issue a pass (for a while).

    Rate this:
    		3.1
    //no imageMirth Nadir (Who am I?)
    15 August 2008 at 10:40 am

  5. “5 Step Program” — Hilarious. You damn right about that though Mirth. You’ve gotta be on the same page with that shit. You can’t be bringing money in the front door while she’s shoveling it out the back!!!

    That goes for either gender!!

    Rate this:
    		3.2
    //no imagePreston Swagger (Who am I?) (author)
    15 August 2008 at 11:05 am

  6. LOL Pres, i’ve actually socialized with a guy who wasn’t into sports and i was like well what do you do on Sunday? LMAO yea had to cut him off..it’s horrible

    another thing is a guy that’s too flashy and always talking bout what he got, that get’s old quick. another dealbreaker is a smoker ( i don’t why this didn’t pop into my earlier) my roomate (at work) smoke and i hate the smell..

    Rate this:
    		3.2
    //no imageBahama (Who am I?)
    15 August 2008 at 1:35 pm

  7. “Well what do you do on Sundays?” EXACTLY!!! Shit is just ridiculous!!

    Bahama I was just on your site and I was listening to this internet radio station. I was on you page for like 20 seconds and then “Get Like Me” came on the radio. I’m not kidding!!

    Rate this:
    		3.2
    //no imagePreston Swagger (Who am I?) (author)
    15 August 2008 at 1:52 pm

  8. I dated a guy once who only like NCAA basketball, no NBA, no NFL, not even MBL…it was very weird.

    Rate this:
    		3.0
    //no imageChocolate Chiq (Who am I?)
    16 August 2008 at 4:40 pm

  9. LOL Preston…well see that would ge great if I was Chrissy (my blog patna) she is the David Banner stan/freak..lol I am the one that hearts Lupe Fiasco and Larry Johnson. But lol that is funny though

    Rate this:
    		2.5
    //no imageBahama (Who am I?)
    18 August 2008 at 7:42 am

  10. These are all good deal breakers…and I’m glad to see you added that edit P! That is my numero uno deal breaker! You HAVE to have a life outside of me. That is the main sign of a level 5 clinger! I also don’t like smokers…women who do any and everything I say (I need SOME challenge)…and this one will sound weird but I can’t deal with a chick that doesn’t like kids. I can understand not wanting them (barely) but to not like children at all is (sing it with me) cold blooded!!

    Rate this:
    		2.5
    //no imageI.M. Haight (Who am I?)
    18 August 2008 at 12:10 pm

  11. Well call me cold blooded…

    Anyway I’ve thought long and hard over this “deal breaker” list. P, I think you really already know mine. My list is SO long and to many it’s why I’m still single. But WHATEV - my standards are mind. Everybody doesn’t have to live by them.

    A few that come to mind:

    1. I can’t stand a man that’s always trying to come over. What’s wrong with your place? Better yet, don’t get too comfy too quick - what’s wrong with going out????

    2. An adult male, that I assume has graduated from high school at the very least but cannot speak the King’s English! If you “likeded” anything and “love the conversate.” Do not pass go. You need a linguistics lesson, not to be trying to date me.

    I could go on and on. Bad teeth, poor hygiene (Old Spice over funk is just double funky dude), a man that becomes belligerent when drunk…

    Rate this:
    		2.5
    //no imageHaute in LA (Who am I?)
    18 August 2008 at 8:03 pm

  12. CC — weird indeed. Something is off about a guy that doesn’t like football AT ALL. Like not even a little bit. Since the invention of fantasy football, even nerds get into the shit now.

    Bahama - I’m sorry. I wasn’t even paying attention. I’ll make it up to you though. We’ll go to sleep in Paris and wake up in Tokyo…

    Haute — Yup…all that sounds about right. I actually try not to be in the same building as anyone who uses the (non) word “likeded”. Almost a shame you don’t like kids though. The world could use another set of those legs…..HA!

    Rate this:
    		3.2
    //no imagePreston Swagger (Who am I?) (author)
    19 August 2008 at 12:50 am

  13. [...] way) but I firmly believe there are certain things men just shouldn’t do.  In the spirit of Preston’s “Deal Breakers” article, here are just a few things that piss me off.  This is going to be a running list, so feel [...]

    //Just DON’T Do It | Truth Merchants
    25 August 2008 at 7:04 am

  14. [...] Alright fellas, its education time again.  I’ve noticed a steadily growing trend that direly needs to be addressed.  Men turned to complete invertebrates when in the face of a pretty woman…if not spineless then definitely firmly outside of their comfort zone.  I will be the first to admit that a pretty face and a smile is one of the more intoxicating things on the planet. [...]

    //How to talk to pretty women | Truth Merchants
    27 August 2008 at 8:20 am

Have your say!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>