Just DON’T Do It

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I.M. Haight

25 August 2008

Ish You Should Know

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When I decided to write about this I wasn’t attempting to create new Man Laws (even though it might end up that way) but I firmly believe there are certain things men just shouldn’t do. In the spirit of Preston’s “Deal Breakers” article, here are just a few things that piss me off. This is going to be a running list, so feel free to add away and this just might turn into a new set of Man Laws.

Don’t wear suspenders AND a belt. I applaud you trying to diversify your wardrobe but they serve the same purpose jackass. Do you wear mittens and glove…….genius?

Don’t leave that big ass tag on the sleeve of your suit. Fine, you might have spent good money on it but let that be understated. Cut the billboard off your arm!

Don’t order expensive drinks loudly at the bar. I promise she doesn’t care that you “only drink Hen-dog!”

Don’t cross your legs at the knee. Unless you are a pimp or The Iceman this is the worst look ever. Just don’t do it.

Shout Out to George Gervin

Don’t bad mouth another man behind his back. Haters will be haters and this will never change. But this reeks of btichassness and women can spot it.

Don’t under any circumstances burn a steak on the grill. Sear the hair off your forearm before letting a good cut of meat char. No excuses on this one fellas.

Don’t (EVER!) sing a song louder than your girl in the car, shower, house, or bedroom. Furthermore, never put your finger to your ear while singing either. You aren’t auditioning for American Idol and this also reeks of bitchticity.

Finally I’ll say, please stop lying about dumb shit guys. If you are trying to get out of a ticket then fine. Don’t tell chicks you throw parties with Diddy. Stop saying you own 3 businesses. Stop saying you are getting your house “built.” Just stop…please?

So, leave your comments about the things you think guys should cease and desist immediately.

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13 Comments »

LMAO!! oooh this should be fun

~DO NOT wear socks and sandals, matter fact don’t wear sandals at all. Only slides

~Do NOT call me red or lil mama or whatever color shirt i have one, that is just not even close to cute and will not get you any kind of play.

~Don’t drink more than you can handle, ain’t nothing worse than a drunk man who can’t control himself

~Don’t call another man pretty.

~stop bitting and dirty’n your finger nails…( i hate seeing dirty nails or no nails or men)

that’s all i got for now

Bahama (Who am I?)
25 August 2008 at 9:34 am

LOL.
Don’t gel down your hair.. ever! A man’s head should never look… juicy!
And, pull your damn pants up!
@Bahama.. what “man” you know called another man pretty? lol

Anthony Taurus (Who am I?)
25 August 2008 at 10:36 am

LOL - and the socks with the sandals - had me crying laughing………..

Men who MOTION for chicks to come and talk to them if they want to holla. BOO - NOT THAT CHICK - oh and the girls who actually go! NO MA’AM and NO SIR!!!!!!!!!!

and someone who things they are funny, when they CLEARLY aren’t! THE ABSOLUTE WORST!! Take a break and go work on it!

SILKIE TRICKZ (Who am I?)
25 August 2008 at 12:43 pm

Can I call you bahama mama?

Anthony — You damn right! Who calls another man pretty?!? “Juicy” head…hilarious.

Silkie — I’m hilarious.

Preston Swagger (Who am I?)
25 August 2008 at 9:43 pm

LOL!! i have heard a dude call another dude pretty, it was creepy. and LOL yes Pres you can call me that,

Bahama (Who am I?)
26 August 2008 at 7:30 am

Its creepy hearing you talk about another man calling another man pretty!

Hey Silkie! Get over here!! Better??

@AT…baby hair is barely cool on babies!! There are some R&B dudes that need to read this right now!!

I’ve got a few more here…

Don’t buy your dress pants the same size as your jeans. You look retarded with your pants like an accordion in the back because you have your belt all tight!

Don’t attempt any dance you’ve seen in music videos. You are not Chris Brown and you most likely aren’t 18. Stop spinning!

Don’t ask a lady at work out to lunch more than once. If she wanted to go, she would have said yes the first time. Plus, you don’t want to be “that” guy at the office.

That’s it for now…

I.M. Haight (Who am I?) (author)
26 August 2008 at 8:54 am

If you call a girl/woman and she doesn’t return your call, don’t call back more than one time … harassing is a felony in many, many states …

Don’t assume that all women can cook … and don’t make a face if she says she can’t cook.

Mirth Nadir (Who am I?)
27 August 2008 at 4:42 pm

Tell the truth. Your parents don’t “live with U”, do they? If they “lived with U”, U wouln’t be sleeping in the same room from high school with the RIGHT ON Magazine posters on the wall.

CCGroovy (Who am I?)
28 August 2008 at 8:47 am

“Hey Silkie! Get over here!! Better??”

“Don’t gel down your hair.. ever! A man’s head should never look… juicy!”

“Don’t buy your dress pants the same size as your jeans. You look retarded with your pants like an accordion in the back because you have your belt all tight!

Don’t attempt any dance you’ve seen in music videos. You are not Chris Brown and you most likely aren’t 18. Stop spinning!”

This shit is hilarious!!!

here are some tips of my own…

* don’t ASK for sexual favors…you shouldn’t have to

* better yet don’t ask questions AT ALL during sex

* fellas if you have braids lets do away with the thick ass Omarion shape-up/fade/baby hair whatever you want to call it…don’t do it!

* be a man! stand your ground! i hate pushovers…most women do!

that’s all for now.

loveliesandmusic (Who am I?)
28 August 2008 at 4:19 pm

All women can’t cook??? lol

Ha! Not Right On!!!

I definitely feel you on the asking questions…this isn’t a job interview or Jeopardy!

I looove that last comment….that’s basically what Seymour is talking about in his new article. Women like men b/c they ARE men….so be a man!

I.M. Haight (Who am I?) (author)
28 August 2008 at 4:52 pm

I agree with the name dropping. Fellas, your boys may be impressed by that, but most women think you have low self esteem when you do that and you are trying to be someone you are truly not.

I am also in agreement with the asking of questions, especially during/after sex. If you have to ask a woman (and this has happened to me before) if she has cum, something is wrong. One, you don’t need to have sex with anyone anymore! Also, if you don’t know if this has occurred, something is wrong with you.

I got a few for you.

Stop calling women “sweetie” unless she has told you this is acceptable. It is not flattering and can be annoying.

After a cetain age, you should be established in your career or have had some stability in a career. I know with the current economy, you may have to change careers, but you shouldn’t be 40+ starting your first career. Party promoting and all those other hustles were okay when you were in your 20’s, but if you are still doing this at 40 and you don’t have another paying gig, find something that will pay your bills.

Since I am mentioning this age bit, stop acting like you are 21 and hanging in the clubs Friday, Saturday, sometimes on Sunday (and Thursday). Everyone likes to go out and have a good time, but once again, if you aren’t really established in your career and you spend the majority of your time in the club, something is wrong. Channel that energy into your career.

My final thought and then I’ll put the soap away; If you’re happy to be nappy, that’s wonderful, but don’t expose that stuff to the ladies. No one (especially women) like to see nappy chest hair. Fix that.

Oops, I lied, this is is: Stop color coding your clothes like you’re the pimp of the week. I know somewhere along the lines someone told you that wearing all blue, red, green, orange, etc., was acceptable. IT’s NOT!! Women are not turned on by that.

FoxxyDiva (Who am I?)
28 August 2008 at 9:45 pm

“Don’t ask a lady at work out to lunch more than once. If she wanted to go, she would have said yes the first time. Plus, you don’t want to be “that” guy at the office.”

“If you call a girl/woman and she doesn’t return your call, don’t call back more than one time … harassing is a felony in many, many states …”

^^^YES!!! can you two talk to some guys i work with about this?? LMAO

Don’t stare at the assets, yes they look nice but ain’t nothing worse than trying to talk to a man and you can see the drool pooling at the side of his mouth.

Don’t “put on” cuz if we get to talking and i found out instead of you living by yourself and having a good job, you really live in the basement at your parents and you deliver newspapers..I’mma be pissed!

Bahama (Who am I?)
29 August 2008 at 6:17 am

[...] mentioned in my list of things that guy’s shouldn’t do that burning a steak is next to a capital offense. I then started to think about all the times I [...]

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