Metro(sexual) - Man
Preston Swagger
6 August 2008
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7 Comments
LOOK! Up in the sky!! It’s a bird!! It’s a plane!! No….It’s….Metro-Man
So the fellas and I are out playing pool and drinking. A few ladies are with us and were all just shootin the shit and having a good time. I make some comment about sports, or beer, or women, or all three (I honestly can’t remember), and one of the girls laughs and turns to me and says, “Preston, you are such a guy”.
Honestly….It was one of the nicest things anyone has said to me in a while.
I’m proud to be a “guy’s guy”. I’m proud to be Mel Gibson from the first half of “What Women Want” or Eddie Murphy from the first half of “Boomerang”. I enjoy it. (Although Eddie was a little too pretty in that movie). So we got into a drunken, pool playing discussion about what makes a guy metro or not (is there really any other way to discuss these things?).
So here’s my take on the whole metrosexual thing. I’m fine with the term, I just don’t like the guys that represent the idea of the classic metrosexuals. I mean, there are some things that I do (no, I’m not telling you) that could be considered metro, and I acknowledge that. I just don’t like being called metro because most people think of someone like Ryan Seacrest or Ricky Martin or some shit. Growing up, getting called a “pretty boy” was fighting words. I guess I still don’t take too kindly to it.
So you may be asking yourself, “Yo Preston, if you admittedly do some things that can be considered metro…why aren’t you a metrosexual?” To which I’d reply, “Mind your neck!!!.” Then, after I laughed I would tell you the real reason…
PRIORITIES… my good friend….priorities.
Let me give an example:
I was watching one of those “The Fabulous Life Of…” shows on VH-1. They showed a clip of Diddy on the phone in his penthouse office while some lady was giving him a pedicure. Now I don’t think that is a metrosexual thing to do. If I had millions of dollars, then sure I’d pay some chick a few bucks to massage my feet and cut my toenails for me. I mean, bending down and cutting my own toenails isn’t something I’ll miss doing…so…Why the fuck not…
I’m rich biatch!!
But if you’re a guy making around $40,000 and you’re just 9-5ing it like most people–but still finding time (and money) to go get mani/pedis?!?! YOU, my friend are a metrosexual.
And that’s what I mean about priorities. If I have to make an appointment and go to the salon and spend money that I would otherwise use for drinking, or clubbing, or seeing a ballgame with the boys…that would be ridiculous. That would be a metrosexual. But if I’m rich as all hell and can snap my fingers and have a chick there rubbin down my boats?!
Well that’s just pimp!
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I am over here, almost under my desk from laughing so hard………..this right here is hella-hilarious!!!!!
I believe that Metrosexual is border-line, you (the guy) looking like the BIATCH and I’m almost taking the role as being the guy in the relationship. I don’t want to catch myself subconsciously thinking, “NO, THIS BITCH DIDN’T JUST DO THAT” or even almost questioning my sexuality. Now that would be a problem! And a dude taking care of himself - to a degree (there is a limit) doesn’t constitute a man being metro-sexual………………you just may be alright Mr. Preston - being told that you are “such a guy” is a GREAT compliment in my book! I know women always say they want a ruff neck, and I don’t blame them, but pretty boy’s can get that ass too! (Maybe we could take a stab at turning each other out, eh??? - but I’m digressing) LOL
Seriously though, metro-sexual is BITCH-ASS-NESS to me - not cute at all - and just because you have money, yeah some things are cool, however; it may finally be your outlet to really doing what you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t because before you were around some real dudes - Puffy maybe????
6 August 2008 at 10:20 am