Monthly Awards - Morton’s Make It Rain Award - August
I.M. Haight
7 August 2008
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6 Comments
AND THE WINNER IS—-
Another month and another gorgeous display of anger. Last month I awarded Ice T for his meticulous yet misguided tirade aimed at Soulja Boy. This month the honor goes to someone who definitely would have been justified if he turned several shades of green, but didn’t. A man who’s subtle seething anger was evident in every interview, text message, and press release. Ladies and gentleman this month’s Morton’s Make It Rain Award (aka this month…The Golden Arms Gold Middle Finger) goes to none other than Brett Lorenzo Favre.
For those unaware or stuck under a rock I’ll briefly recap. Arguably the greatest quarterback ever retires from the team he never missed a start for, said quarterback changes his mind and contacts his old team to express his interest in playing, the team shits on him. That’s basically it in a nutshell. No one on the planet would think bad of Brett if he aired their dirty laundry, or set up on some grassy knoll somewhere. But no! What did Brett do? He seethed….and plotted.
First, he lets it slip to the media that he wants back. Forcing the Packers to publicly welcome him or become public enemy numero uno. They then played grab ass and tried to stall. No worries, he proceeds to scare the shit out of them by talking to division rival Minnesota Vikings. The thought of a purple number 4 tossing touchdowns in Lambeau had to have every dinkbag in their front office retract. So much so those bitches filed tampering charges so that if the Vikings ever had a shot at Brett, the commish would squash it. The next wave of attack was Brett swapping text messages with some ESPN reporters to slyly plant the seeds that they forced him to retire in the first place, inevitably turning every Wisconsinite against the team. Then the coup de grace came via his interview with Greta Van Susteren. Word?? On the record huh? Well shit on ‘em then! He proceeded to basically accuse the Packer organization of bitchassedness on national TV. It was a scrumptious display of “they don’t know who they are fucking with!” When Green Bay tried to call Brett’s bluff and told him he could come back but he would have to fight for his job back (essentially spitting in his face), he didn’t flinch. He showed up. Fuck you pay me…or trade me. If you don’t want Brett Favre then watch Brett Favre tear up the league in another jersey. What do the cheese heads do? They try to break his spirit by trading him to the lowly New York Jets. C’mon!!!! New York? Brady vs. Favre twice a year?? What better way to say kiss my arse than to bring the Jets back into relevance? If Green Bay doesn’t make the playoffs the entire state will descend upon the Packer organization with great vengeance and furious anger! (Sorry I watched Pulp Fiction last night)
The Green Bay Packers talk about moving forward and preparing for the future. What do you think your future players will think about your organization after they see how you treated the greatest player to wear that particular uniform? Y’all done fucked up now. I hope you know that. You pissed off “The” gunslinger. Football is bigger than any one person, but if any one person could argue against that…it’s Brett Favre. This month I pay homage to a cold calculating smooth mo-fo! This was a chess match of ire and revenge. It wasn’t laced with profanity or violence but wrath was the chef’s special and that shite was finger licking good! I mean can you imagine how mad you have to be to turn down 20 mil to stay home?!? Thank you Brett…my faith in indignation is renewed.
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Ok, I like watching football - I get it - but I don’t get into the players and their stats, but I MUST comment on this man right here!!
This man new that he wasn’t ready to retire when he did it (can someone shed some light on why he even went there), and when he came back he got his face played and you know what - HIS ASS SHOULD HAVE!!!!!
Favre, you may be good, but you were the one who chose to throw the towel in. Um, if I was the one coming up after you left - HELL TO THE NO, I wouldn’t want you coming back. Your time is up pimpin’!
Quit cryin’ and go take a seat on the bench - in the park!!!!!!
7 August 2008 at 1:12 pm