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Musings on Bachelorhood vs. Monogamy

Tobias Hustleman

20 August 2008

Relationships

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I believe physical monogamy is unnatural but emotional monogamy is essential. For men, these are separate parallel forces which eventually intersect. For women, I believe they run almost unilaterally.

I think innately women seek out security while men are raised to believe they can handle anything.

I feel a man is more likely to commit when a woman exposes his vulnerability but compliments the vulnerability by filling the void. This restores the security in a man’s mind.

Why run the bases when you can just stay home???

Why commit when the woman won’t leave anyway?

Share your thoughts on monogamy. Is Tobias right on or way off?

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7 Comments »

Mr Hustleman, before I leave scratches on your back, with you saying that physical monogamy is unnatural, are you saying that it can’t be done??

otherwise, you are RIGHT ON TARGET!!!
If a brotha can’t give me security, we can’t have a relationship. I pull my weight before-hand and wouldn’t have any problems sharing the weight if there is a commitment. That requirement is on the TOP of my list!!! WAY ON THE TOP!

So, true - that’s on a woman if a man won’t commit and she’s still there. If I was the guy, I would use her ass too!! Sad, but true!

SILKIE TRICKZ (Who am I?)
20 August 2008 at 12:27 pm

Every chic wants security. I usually look for a weakness so as to build him but i have realised that i tend to make my guys feel larger than life in the end. Bt i dont know how to stop

Pbreak24 (Who am I?)
20 August 2008 at 12:36 pm

“Why run the bases when you can just stay home???”

I’ve come to learn that most men just are never satisfied.

“Why commit when the woman won’t leave anyway?”

You’ve obviously never ran into me. lol

I think you might be a smidge off there Tobias (lol). In a relationship I want all of you, I give all of myself and I expect that in return. Don’t give me 50% because I’m going to find someone that will give more than 100. And I am sure that both sides of monogamy are possible and can be done.

Bahama (Who am I?)
21 August 2008 at 6:15 am

Riddle me this ladies…what is “security?”

@Pbreak…don’t stop sweetie. You will find someone who appreciates that. Believe me when I say that type of support is rare.

@Bahama…well damn, maybe I don’t wanna run into you!! lol

I.M. Haight (Who am I?)
21 August 2008 at 7:51 am

Provide security mainly financially and emotionally. Financially - even if you don’t make a million dollars, I need to know that you can manage money well and that you will do what you have to do when times get hard. I need to know that you will go the extra mile (w/o it being illegal) to keep our family financially intact. And I’m not saying that the woman is not involved with helping. Emotionally, basically, I need you to remind me that I’m that chick LOL Treat me like I mean the world to you - through respect, compliments, etc.
Also, supporting spiritually, is a great thing - the ultimate thing in my opinion. Everything else will fall into place.

Pbreak - that’s actually a good thing, I think. I believe that there need to be limitations if you see the brotha getting out of hand. However; if that’s your dude, build him up, that’s what you’re there for. Evidently, that is just a part of who you are. The right man will appreciate it.

FEMALE DEMO (Who am I?)
21 August 2008 at 8:03 am

Oh boy, I can’t wait until the “Why Guys Don’t Commit” posts start. Ladies, my posts are not intended to be offensive. I just want some HONEST conversation.

Tobias Hustleman (Who am I?) (author)
27 August 2008 at 11:43 pm

[...] worst question I’ve ever heard in my life. You should have been given an idea of that in the “Monogamy vs. Bachelorhood” article. At 30, it seems I’ve only heard women say that their relationships ended badly [...]

//Why don’t men commit? Part 1…Women Cheat too. | Truth Merchants
29 August 2008 at 7:09 am