Truth Merchants

Preston Swagger 22 August 2008 Pop Culture 132 views One Comment Print This Post  Email This Post

Sorry we missed you yesterday. I was traveling from LA over to Atlanta. I’ve been accused by some people of being a web Nazi, because I post everything on this site and don’t let my partners touch the code. But come on…any webmaster will tell you messing up their code will result in death…and Haight, Hustle and Monet are my boys. I’m not trying to take them off this earth.

Plus I’m not cut out for hard time…

Random thoughts as I traversed the country.

Hey Lady who was traveling with her granddaughter and couldn’t speak English — here’s how it works:

I understand that you want to sit with your little granddaughter. Nobody can blame you for that. But you want to find HER SEAT and then just take the one next to her. Then when the person whose seat you’re taking shows up…that’s when you use your broken English to repeated exclaim:

“Please. Granddaughter. Sit with Granddaughter”

Here’s what you DON’T do:

Take whichever two seats you fuckin’ feel like taking. I mean why piss off two people when you can only piss off one? You shouldn’t need a translator for that should you?

Yo Atlanta!! What’s crackin’? It’s been a while since I’ve been here…and I’m not saying that the airport is a microcosm for the city or anything…but on this trip it seems like I saw fewer chicks with fat asses and way more gay men.

Hmmmm…..

Not that there’s anything wrong with either (well I’d appreciate more ass, ladies…). Just making the observation. I’m probably just behind the times in Atlanta.

I’m here to visit the fam and catch this little family reunion we’re doing. I have very little family in Cali, so I try to get back to the home coast when I can. This weekend of family and food is gonna set me WAY back in the Merchant’s Biggest Loser.  But don’t get it twisted…

I’m still going to win.

We’ll be back at you bright and early Monday!! Have a great weekend and check out the new Dear You — It was like one of those investment commercials.  I.M. Haight saw himself 30 years in the future while getting some gas.

Peace,

P. Swagg (Web Nazi)