Why don’t men commit? Part 1…Women Cheat too.
August 29, 2008 by Hook (Hustleman)
Filed under Relationships | 1,255 views
That is the worst question I’ve ever heard in my life. You should have been given an idea of that in the “Monogamy vs. Bachelorhood” article. At 30, it seems I’ve only heard women say that their relationships ended badly because of the guy’s inability to commit or do what’s right to keep the relationship going. That’s just plain garbage.
Physical monogamy is just unnatural. It doesn’t really exist in the animal kingdom and even some species of birds (who I’ve always been told are monogamous) are only socially monogamous.
The male birds are raising some other pimp’s chicks.
It’s not impossible but it has to be a conscious decision. I am not out chasing women. Let me rephrase. I am not chasing women based on what I call “skirt chasing”. I’ve just not had a girlfriend in awhile. That doesn’t mean I am hopping beds every night. I just don’t want to jump into a “relationship” like that just yet.
But I am tired of the non-committal indictments. Women cheat too. What’s worse is women never say they cheat because they wanted to cheat. They’re always pushed to cheating. “My boyfriend does not pay attention to me”…or…”he is always out with his guys”. “He doesn’t try anymore”.
So it’s o.k. to commit but cheat when you feel you are unfulfilled???
There are some concessions that can be made on both sides. Women you’re not always the victim. I’ve been cheated on once and was not really trusted in the very next instance. After that my next ex didn’t really appreciate my efforts (that didn’t “drive” me to cheat on her though). She and I have since resolved, but I digress. What have I been since then? A devout member of the Clooney Church of Bachelors.
(Editor’s Note from P. Swagg: Let the church say Amen)
A female friend of mine gave up the tapes. She said women fuck around too. Some of her friends have had long time boyfriends or husbands and philandered. This is after I asked her what she thought about men avoiding commitment. I decided to google female infidelity and what do you know…I found a website called womensinfidelity.com.
WORD????
So you want me to commit so that you can go through the four stages? Keep it. Marriage as it stands today is a fairy tale, religious convention. I feel like someone watched the movie “Unfaithful” and thought, “I am glad she cheated on her husband”.
Women deserve to get theirs too. Yes, you do.
And I am all for being that guy to give it to you!!
Nah……as much as I hate marriage, I would never disrespect it. If people are going to try, I don’t want the karma of being the splackavellie. God bless you if you wanna try. But all guys are not bad. It just depends on where you catch them in their life’s path. And here’s the flip side that no one ever mentions.
It’s the same way with women…
Maybe our paths cross at the wrong time. Who knows?
Most of my female friends get heartbroken when they sleep with a guy and the guy bounces out before settling down. I always think to myself you wouldn’t feel that way if you just treated it as an act. I guess men “feel” and think in physical terms; women “feel” and think emotionally.
This post ended up as more of a rant than anything else. Hopefully my next post will be more formalized. Truthfully, I wish I had the DVD of “Waiting to Exhale” right now so I could piss on it. I am still bitter about being subjected to that garbage rather than seeing “Rumble in the Bronx.”
Until Part 2
T. Hustleman
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You guys are really making me soft!!! I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU’RE SAYING!!!! UGH! I guess it’s just me wanting to have something to disagree with - typical huh? However, you can’t deny the truth - so I’m not! (the whole animal bit, I’m love it - I stayed glued to channels showing the “animal kingdom”, especially Lions, and they are truly pimps and I dig it!)
But anyway - yes women cheat too and when women cheat - WOMEN GO HARD, they just know how to cover it up and deny the hell out of it! Women strategically plan and that’s all it is to it! But, is that okay, NO! But like I’ve said before - it will come back to haunt you BELIEVE THAT!
I’ve heard a lot of men say that they won’t or take so long to commit b/c of what women in their past did - which is understandable, and totally opposite of how the woman works. She’s trying to find - yep - that knight in shining armor that she saw on TV, until she snaps back into reality or realizes through experience, it DOES NOT work like that - perfection does not exist! BUT THERE ARE STILL GREAT MEN OUT THERE - however, they are either married, gay, or like you - not into committment! LOL
Eh.
Love is for suckers
Relationships are for punks.
The end.
lmao
LMAO i agree with most of what you said though. Especially the part about where you catch a person when you meet, I guess the couple of guys I’ve been invovled with were in hell when i meet them cause they were all the devil!
ok so I agree with almost everything said here except that part where you say that
I do agree that monogamy is a choice. I also understand that things change. My only request is that when things CHANGE…LET A SISTA KNOW! When you feel that this is not for you or that you want to be with someone else have a little courtesy and sit me down and talk about it. I would rather not be with someone who no longer wants to be with me.
Women cheat too…i get that. But a good woman will usually sit you down and let you know what it is BEFORE SHE CHEATS! See women hate to have their choice taken away from them (probably because women worked so damn hard TO HAVE A CHOICE)
…I wasn’t finished…don’t know what happened but anyway…
when you take away our choice it’s like a slap in the face. like you didn’t respect me enough to tell me what it’s hittin’ for and allow me to decide for myself what I want to do. Women don’t usually do that (you do have your few strays) we’ll tell you exactly what’s going wrong and hopefully we can work it out and fix it…(the women that cheat just to be cheating aren’t real women or not ready for a committment and in that case probably should’ve communicated that with her dude)
sorry my response was so long…I gotta a lot to say…obviously
I love you guys though…haven’t heard from Preston in a while.
You are right about it is all a matter of timing when you catch someone on their train ride of life.
-If only you would have caught them before they got their current boyfriend
-If only they would have been messed over a few times before you so they could realize what a good man is (when it is sitting there in the face looking at them) …
And the list goes on …
Women cheat or some women cheat. It all depends on the kind of person u r wit. Y do they cheat, was the love over, was she revenging or was a mistake?
How does she react after, sad, scared, sorry or satisfied.
Women are more or less emotional beings so their actions mirror her inside.
Most, not all women, when cheating are trying to communicate so listen up guys
just for to let you know as a guy i always have a few chicks in the background in a relationship. I run my relationship life like a good football team when the starter doesn’t perform or wants to get traded to another team you bring the rookie in and let em shine. keep that rotation going and never get suckered into marriage. keep pimpin alive cuz when was the last time a woman was satisfied with anything!!! exactly my point so never think they are satisfied with just you cuz it’ll never happen.
I love when men use the comparision of the biological programming of the animal kingdom to substantiate their need for infidelity. Yes, we as human beings still have some obsolete biological functions hanging around, that I will not argue. Do you know why we get goosebumps when we are scared? It is part of the fight or flight response. It causes certain blood vessels in our dermis to constrict, which then causes our body hair to stand up. As a result, we look bigger and we scare our enemy away. I know that I find it pretty useful in modern day life. About as useful as your argument.
Men are biologically programmed to “spread their seed”, if you will. On the flip side, women are biologically programmed to continuously be on the lookout for a better mate to father her offspring. For men it is quantity, for women it is quality. While men are acting like horney chimpanzees, humping any vagina that will accept their DNA, women are searching for the alpha male and his superior DNA. I hope you remember that someday when you finally find a girl that you care about, and she dumps your ass for the better looking, smarter, hard bodied, financially stable guy she met a couple weeks ago. He will make a better father than you would have anyway.
And since you are such a true follower of your biolical instinct you should then commit the act of infanticide and kill their babies, especially if they happen to be male. You certainly wouldn’t want too many genetically superior males to compete with now, would you? You can barely find any females to accept your inferior DNA now, who needs more competition?
What you are experiencing is known as the “Coolidge Effect”. Since you like to compare yourself to animals so much, I will compare you to one I think you have similiar intelligence to - a rat. When a male rat is placed in a cage with a female rat, he is very excited at first. Humping her day and night. After a few months, the excitement wears off and he is no longer sexually functional with her. In fact, he completely ignores her. However, replace the female rat with a new one and the male rat is sexually restored. It’s almost like someone spiked his water bottle with Viagra. But wait, that’s not what happened. It’s the Coolidge Effect. His brain created dopamine in response to the new female. Replace the female with the original female. What happens? No more dopamine. No more humping. Poor little male rat. He wants another female rat to hump. His cravings are unbearable. He’s not interested in this same old female rat. Afterall, he already gave her his seed like 100 times. What the poor little rat doesn’t realize is a new girl rat isn’t what he wants at all. His brain wants dopamine. The dopamine makes him happy and restores his sexual functionality. His brains addiction to dopamine is making him feel like he wants a new receptive female to mate with. You know what else creates dopamine in our brain? A few examples are chocolate, carbohydrates and heroin. Does that mean that because our brains are biolically programmed to crave chocolate or drugs that we should give in to each and every craving? According to your theory, yes. Lets all become chocoholic, dope fiends. Afterall thats what our brains have programmed us to be, right?
While we have some biolical similarities to the animal kingdom, we as homosapiens have a HUGE advantage that animals lack. It is called logic and reasoning. We know that there are consequences to our actions. We don’t give in to each and every carnal craving whether it be for sex, food or drugs. Face it - we both know that you are not out there trying to extend your lineage. What you are really trying to do is convince yourself that its ok to be a comittment-phobe man whore. I hope you enjoy being plagued with STDs and child support obligations from your unwanted consequences.
It’s not right for men or women to cheat, but this doesn’t mean we should never commit either. Research has shown that the effects of a happy, healthy, monogomous relationship on HUMANS is profound in terms of our overall wellbeing. Individuals in healthy relationships recover faster from surgeries and illness, get sick less often, and feel less stress overall. Thse are just a few of the benefits. Why would you want to sacrifice your health and happiness in order to succomb to an outdated biological function? Just as women need to overcome their sexual desire for a superior mate, men need to overcome their sexual desire for many different mates. Hopefully you will EVOLVE and start thinking like a human before you turn in to the old, useless, burdening, male and the rest of your herd abandons you to die cold and alone.
Peace Out Bitch