Ask A Guy - Do men only fall in love AFTER the sex?
September 23, 2008 by J (Preston)
Filed under Ask A Guy, Relationships | 1,654 views
Q: Do you guys only fall in love after you’ve got the goodies?
A: Nope. We’re in love WAY before that. We’re in love with the possibility of you…
I think this is a people thing more than a “guy” thing. At first we all fall in love with the possibility of someone. We size you up and see what we like.
———-
Note — Ladies if you want an idea of what the guy who’s checking you out is into — follow his eyes. If we size you up from toe to head we’re mostly likely a feet, legs, or ass man.
*Preston looks around…raises hand*
If we go from head to toe we’re probably more into eyes, lips/smile, breasts. Not saying that the total package isn’t important — because of course it is –but our eyes float to what we like best, first. But this too, I think, is more human than “guy”. Ladies let me know if I’m wrong on that one…
———-
But I digress…
So we see you wherever and whenever we see you. You’re lookin fine as hell and we begin to talk a little. THEN you…say IT. IT is something that is exactly what that particular guy wanted to hear:
Yeah, I love to cook
I LOVE watching football
I’ve been called a nympho, but I don’t think it’s true.
I used to be a gymnast
Well hello there…
Remember that movie - There’s Something About Mary — where Matt Dillon sets Cameron Diaz up with perfection? He opens his car door and the blueprints come out and she’s like, “oh you’re an architect”…and then he asks for quarter because all he has are Nepalize coins and she’s like, “oh you’ve been to Nepal?”.
Everybody hopes to find their dream guy or girl. In reality we know there is no such thing. But there’s a brief time when you might just be perfect…
And we love that…
I’ll tell you a secret ladies: you know how you meet a guy who you think really might have a shot with you? Really might be as cool as you think…really might be stable and without issues…really might have a chance at hangin around for a while? And you smile when you see his name on the caller ID. And you make your girlfriends sick talking about him…and you have that little glow that makes your friends laugh at you and your haters envy you…
We feel that way too. We just hide that shit like hell!! C’mon…I’m a grown ass man dog…how do i look glowing?? So we don’t say or show it much…especially around the fellas. But we feel that way too.
“Every time your name was brought up, I would act all nonchalant in front of an audience” — Jay-Z (Frontin)
Now I know this isn’t real love. But just from a sequential standpoint…NO ONE falls in true love BEFORE sex. Typically you have sex with someone after a few weeks or months — and typically you don’t fall into real love that fast. But that getting to know you infatuation. That high that comes with the possibility of new love. We feel it too. We like it too. And that happens before you give us your goodies…
Peace, Love, & A Sweet Tooth,
–Preston
**Voting Fixed** Please throw us a vote or two for the weblog awards. You can vote for us HERE. And THANK YOU to whomever nominated us!
Loading ...
NO ONE falls in true love BEFORE sex……..Swag, I am going to have to disagree with you on this one! If that was the case, a chick that blew your mind and sucked your heart out would be the girl for you. But when true love comes into play, that’s when you sit back and think that thought think to YOURSELF (not even realizing it) is you really thinking about how good of a wife and mother she’ll be……….not saying that sex doesn’t play a part in it, but that’s something you can fix. I know some classes I can refer her too (pole dancing with stiletto’s)!
So enlighten me……..even though I’m sure men don’t say it as soon as they know, about how long does it take for you to know that you love a chick (not going so deep as IN LOVE, cuz that’s two different things)? B/c I know it doesn’t take a long time for you to know what chick has the potential of you settling down with her (I’ll give that a good 6mths and that’s pushing it). INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!
Well, before we get too intense in the conversation … can we get a proper definition of “love”?
I don’t think about love until after the fellatio. If it’s good, I’ll fall in love.
But seriously, I’m in love, or at least “in heavy like”, long before any sex. First of all, this is all beyond the physical. For me, it’s about the interaction and communication. If I can vibe with a woman and we don’t have any substantial problems, then I can see myself falling in love. But, if we can’t even talk to each other or the conversation is just weak, then not even a good sex will save the relationship. But, history has taught me that a good blowjob will keep my ass around for too long. LOL
LOL AT!!! I can’t tell you how many times I have heard that, and the crazy part about it is I think it’s true…..MEN!! LOL
OK — Part 2 tomorrow — Why Preston doesn’t believe that ANYONE falls in love before they have sex (and by sex I mean oral/traditional/anal…whatever). Can’t happen. It’s mathematically impossible. I’ll prove it. And I’m not kidding…there will really be math…
Mirth — Good point. I received an email on this article from a reader. They defined it as: “The condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
Can we agree on that one. I think I like it…
AT — you are crazy. *daps AT while no one is looking*
Love takes quite a while to kick in and ‘jell’ as love. Everything up to that point is, well, getting acquainted.
I have met several ladies that, I, yes, would have married, but the sex was so bad that there would have been no point. A life of bad sex just will not be acceptable.
If my partner is especially clumsy or when I sense that my partner is just going through the motions so I will think I’m having a good time, it is a real death sentence for any further emotional involvement — end of ‘lets stay together for all of our lives’ kind of love.
Love is not an instant coffee type of thing: just add sex. And romance takes a lifetime.
LOL @ AT, men and fellatio…
And I’d have to agree Pres, I don’t think you can fall in love before you sample the goodz.
Why are people cosigning the joke? There’s a whole paragraph of substance there. LOL
ah…i’m mad I missed this one.
Preston this was good stuff. I was smiling while I read it. I like to believe that men go through that giddy stage just like women do…”We feel that way too. We just hide that shit like hell!!” Good to know.
I have to say that before any sex is jumping off with me I definitely have to:
1.) be damn near in love with you.
2.) take into consideration if I could see myself being with you for the rest of my life or not.
3.) feel that you geniunely feel the same way (that is the hard part because like Preston said…yall hide that shit pretty good!)
SIDE NOTE: SEX IS BETTER WHEN THE TWO OF YOU ARE TOTALLY INTO EACH OTHER. ESPECIALLY THE 1ST TIME. ALL OF THAT BUILT UP PASSION AND EMOTION MAKES FOR GREAT SEX! at least i like to think so
I will say that is a very good definition of love. I am going to have to file that one away.
@LLM - during the first time with all that passion built up sometimes either side gets a little too “into” it and it turns into the preview to the main movie!!
LMAO …
@Mirth - What? I’m confused.
It depends on where a man is at in his life. Is he looking to settle down, or is he looking for a jump (off). When two like hearts combine and have the same goal in mind, it results in a very beautiful thing. But if not, you got yourself one BIG nightmare!!!
I am a fan of your site and if you get a chance, check me out on Blogger at http://www.digsdaily.com where we discuss music, life and nostalgia!
Peace!
a.digs