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The Feminization of Men - Part 1

User ImagePreston Swagger 3 September 2008 Pop Culture 1,122 views 18 CommentsPrint This Post Print This Post Email This Post Email This Post

It became noticeable when “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” hit its peak.  Men are and always will be susceptible to two things:  Women and Fads.

The “women” part was common knowledge.  But fads are a bit more interesting though.  This is especially true of fads that take guys out of their comfort zone.  You have to coax a guy into that place.

For example:

Remember when “loofahs” first came out?!  That spongy, kinda brillo pad type thing on a string (don’t front like you don’t know what I’m talking about).  Well do you remember when guys slowly began to use them?

After the Ironhead Hayward commercial!!  (5 cool points if you know what I’m talking about)!

I’ll explain: So the loofah comes out and guys aren’t touching it with a 10-foot pole.  So someone has the great idea to get Denver Broncos star, Craig “Ironhead” Hayward to do a commercial for it.  Moreover the commercial basically just consisted of Ironhead showing you how much more “lather” you can get with the loofah over the standard wash cloth and then him yelling and mocking the guys who thought the thing was too girly.

Fucking.

Brilliant.

So this guy’s guy reassures us.  Tells us it’s ok to use this thing.  So we do.  He’s our excuse.  I watch Ironhead run over fools on a football field every Sunday!!  If he’s cool with the loufah…I’m cool too.

Queer Eye did the same thing, but in a different fashion.  These guys would take a guy with a girlfriend or wife (that was ESSENTIAL, he HAD to have a girlfriend or wife) and shave him, fix up his crib, buy him a gang of new clothes and then go, “See…now isn’t this better”??  To which most guys would probably answer:

No!

Bitch!

But that wasn’t the entire scenario.  The full picture was these guys going, “See…now isn’t this better”??  While his girl was standing right there!!  She’s  grinning from ear to ear because sex no longer involves a mouthful of chest hair and he just nods and is like, “yeah. I guess this is better”.  And then they’d broadcast that shit into millions of homes across the country.  And the Ironhead theorem would slowly kick in.  Every week more men would fall victim as their girl would turn to them and say shit like,

“it’s not that bad”

“if that guy did it, so can you”,

“he was a Giants fan just like you, and now he looks great in skinny jeans”.

These same men would rationalize to their male friends after they’d given in.

“Yo, dog…exfoliating is kinda cool”.

“Pimps get manicures all the time”.

“Chicks love the way this new milk of magnesia, aloe vera, cocoa body butter smells”!!

But little did women know that these new products and body care regiments would seep into far more than the guy’s skin.  It ended up permeating millions of guy’s very being and leading to the epidemic of bitchassness that is RAMPANT today.

I’m looking at you Day 26!!

In part 2 we discuss how bad things are today and how rappers have even become plagued by this phenomena as well. (IT’S STILL TRICKIN EVEN IF YOU HAVE IT!!!!  YOU PUNK ASS!!)

Until tomorrow,

P. Swagg

Shouts to Blogxilla who covers this subject often and joins me in the fight against it.  His post “Men are the New Women” reminds us of how bad shit is…

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18 Comments »

  1. SOMEONE HAS FINALLY CALLED THEM OUT!! DAY 26!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK U MR. SWAGG, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
    And, I am not sure if any of you watch from “G’s to Gents” - I told myself I wasn’t going to watch it, but got hooked. But, WHY IN THE HELL didn’t any of these so called G’s call that Femi-G out - you guessed it, T mutha-femi Jones!! HOW DID HE EVEN GET ON THE SHOW - along with some of the rest of them, but are you kidding me?????????????????????????????

    I don’t want my man using a loofa - WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. *hangs head in shame*

    I kinda…well…this one time…OKAY, a couple of times, I told Mr. Man that he would look good in skinny jeans & screen tees. :::sigh::: But its not like I told him to go all Pete Wentz & wear guyliner! Lol.

    Can’t we come to some sort of middle ground on this? Where is the “middleman”?

    Caveman ~ Hairy / Metroman ~ Waxed (or even worse, a fckn landing strip [true story]) / Middleman ~ lightly touched up

    Caveman ~ Showers, puts on clothes, walks out the door. / Metroman ~ Has way too much “product” & takes forever to get ready. / Middleman ~ Is lotion-friendly & MISTS (please mist, not spray, lol) on his fave cologne.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love the “manliness” of a man. But guys, clean it up just a tiny bit =]

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  3. Not the skinny jeans Mandhi………..NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, HELL to the NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOL
    At least you admitted it though - that’s a start.

    and the misting! LOL That sounds metrosexual and I would be a little concerned if my boo knew what misting was in that sense. Do I even know what that is??? :)

    That was funny though!!!! Not even my site and I appreciated that post!

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  4. LOL @ this post. I’m a woman and didn’t even knw what that thingwas called.. a loufah. I just called it a puff, puff, but I digress.

    For real to that bitchassness that was on the last Making the Band episode. But I stand by the statement, dudes make themselves look and act like women on a individual basis. There is a difference between someone like Clinton Portis rocking the pink, and say Tyson Beckford (who we know is riding that fence)

    Suga HiL

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  5. What is so bad about men caring or even pretending to care about their appearance? Women who don’t like this I mean u want a guy that looks physically repulsive and cares so little about u that he’s not even willing to shower or get rid of that unibrow. Women do it for men and as a woman no it’s not fun to get a bikini wax, put on makeup, and do u think it’s enjoyable to wear thong underwear? Oh how sexy a wedgie stop up ur ass crack and did I mention comfortable. PleASE I wld only wear that shit on a first time booty call or if I’m getting paid. What I don’t get is that women look good for men men look good for men but men don’t try to look good for women I guess b/c they don’t have to. Straight women r such gluttons for punishment. The excuse is that men think it will make them look gay. The real reason is that they’re too lazy to do all that shit.

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  6. Mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn my mother bought me a loofah a long time ago. I looked at that spongy sea animal thing and just gave it the screw face. But, my mother bought it for me, right? You can’t hate on moms. So, I tried it.. ONCE. Never again. I never felt clean with that shit. A man needs a wash CLOTH. I need to scrub. And the only time I exfoliate is when I shave. And, I use a single edge razor blade too. The kind a pimp carries that’s not for shaving. My lines are clean as I slice the top layer of skin off my face - the REAL man’s way to shave. LOL

    Loofahs are banned in the United States of Anthony.

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  7. Lol at the Puff. Ironhead betrayed us though. He called it a “lather builder.”

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  8. [...] received several comments here and on a few other sites as well as emails regarding PART 1 and that was just the prelude.  Some people thought that I was [...]

  9. Mandi — You RECOMMENDED skinny jeans. To be perfectly honest I couldn’t tell you WHAT skinny jeans are exactly and what separates them from regular jeans. I just knew when I heard the name that they’d never be on my body!!

    Anthony — I mean damn….I have a loofah. I can’t even lie. But I think it was made by Axe — and they only make male stuff… That didn’t change your mind did it? lol

    Marisa — Please check out part 2. I really clarify my points. I think you’ll dig it!

    Kirk — You are so fuckin RIGHT!! Lather builder! The fuck??

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  10. Silkie — Yeah!! Day 26 was DYING to get called out. I’m surprised more people hadn’t beat me to it. I mean that was undeniable BITCHASSNESS on CAMERA!!

    C’mon dog!! At least be a little bitch OFF SCREEN…

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  11. maybe i’m different but I want my man to be a man!only thing I can take a man doing is cleaning his nails, i can’t stand dirty fingernails..

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  12. silkie ~ I have seen the error of my ways, lol. No more skinny jeans suggestions. But I’m sticking to the misting thing. I can’t stand when a dude comes near me smelling like a cracked cologne bottle.

    marisa ~ I can’t speak for all women, but I do the “extra” stuff for Me. Yea its no fun tweezing, shaving, waxing & getting up 5-10 minutes earlier to apply makeup…but I do it anyway cause I like the end result. I agree with you on the thong tip. Thongs are the work of the devil. Just give me a nice lace boyshort, or no drawz at all (yea, I said it).

    kirk ~ I’m over here DYING @ “lather builder”

    lol @ me commenting on the comments. This ain’t my blog…lemme get outta here =]

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  13. LOL @ this thread. I still don’t know what a loofah is … don’t really wanna know either … I use Magic shave and might use some skin stuff after and that is it … (But I do like all movies even the sappy ones … ) but seriously … dudes need to man up!

  14. I don’t know how I forgot to comment on this post! LOL…yall are crazy! I have to agree TOTALLY with Bahama. I needs my man to be a man! Must clean the finger nails though.

    Anthony…men should use “wash CLOTHS”..lol

    Preston…smh…it’s ok to use your AXE LOOFAH (lol)…i guess…cause AXE made it.

    Skinny jeans are getting too skinny for me! (did anyone see Lil Wayne on the VMA’s last night? Those were too skinny, too tight.)

    Mandii…I’m wit chu on the boy shorts. Thongs suck. But I will put them on if I know they’re coming right back off…ha ha.

    I’m commenting on the comments too. couldn’t resist.

    SMOOCHES *waving bye*

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  15. [...] Breakups on Facebook, this whole tight/baggy phenomena,, every dude is thuggin or borderline choreographing, Souljah Boy (enough said right there really) and his f’ing dance (sorry not a fan of line [...]

  16. have you seen some of the guys on this show holy shit!! thank god they came along and did somthing wow !!!!! cause even bikers have more style than some of these yahoos …dammmmmmm

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  17. and get off the damm skinny jeans krapola jesus

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  18. [...] few weeks ago I wrote an eye-opening piece entitled The Feminization of Men - Part 1.  It was followed by Where Are Your Nuts? - Male Feminization Part 2.  Both articles dealt with [...]

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