Airbrush Issues
October 7, 2008 by I.M. Haight
Filed under Miscellaneous, News/Pop Culture | 798 views
Recently a question was posed to Preston that got me thinking. Generally that isn’t a bad thing but this train of thought led me to get a little warm under the collar. The question dealt with the ogling of women on TV or elsewhere by men in front of their significant others and how men felt when it was done to them. Here’s the question:
…dudes have no problem commenting on phat asses, sex appeal, etc when it comes to seeing women on tv…but my question is, how do guys really feel when their chicks comment about other guys? I throw it in there ocassionally - just b/c LOL - and even though ya’ll try to act chill about it, it’s really tearing you up inside, ain’t it???
Preston’s response:
Nope. It sure isn’t. Now if you start running off at the mouth about your cute boss or co-worker — maybe that would get under our skin. But we know yo ass ain’t bumpin into Morris Chestnut at the grocery store and running off with him. Guys don’t look at the dudes on the cover of Men’s Health and feel self-conscious. It just doesn’t happen. Women on the other hand compare themselves to every other thing with a vagina whether it’s the girl in the next cubicle or the one on the cover of US Weekly.
While Preston explained why guys don’t trip…I was left wondering why women do. I couldn’t help but speak on the main issue here. Jealousy. This is something age old that I just can’t wrap my brain around. Of course on the extreme end of the spectrum I get it. If a man constantly made overt reactions, had a Beyonce screensaver, or had a shrine to Lauren London then yeah he’s wilding. If he says, “nice ass” more watching TV than watching you, then he’s a dick. If he constantly drones on about the women at work…
Call me!
But, a casual “she’s pretty” or a long pause on a channel with bikinis while surfing shouldn’t be such a big deal.
Don’t get me wrong. There is chauvinism. Men do degrade women. Women are abused, and yes women are oppressed. But…why is it so wrong for a man to admire (i.e. lust) a scantily clad woman on television or the net? We hear all the time that these images are ruining self esteem and they portray a stereotype that can’t be achieved. We hear that some women’s insecurities stem from the beautiful women on T.V. We hear that some women are driven to bulimia and other eating disorders because of those busty…moist…leggy…thick…gorgeous….
OK I got carried away, but you get the point.
It seems to me that it is jealousy driving women more than anything else. To quote the woman who wrote the question:
I would be lying if I said I didn’t have those jealous tendencies - which I think is okay and men really love that to an extent
First of all…
NO its not okay.
And second…
NO we don’t really love that!
Well I don’t anyway. I want a woman who knows shes the shit and doesn’t have to say it. So what if I look at Ciara dance if my girl has an ass like Ki-toy. And even if she doesn’t, her’s is the ass I’m feeling on every day, so it shouldn’t matter. If things are right at home then these comments shouldn’t be a big deal. Aren’t you getting sweet sweet love made to you on a regular basis? Doesn’t he make you feel like you’re the only one for him? Isn’t he showing you how much he appreciates you?
No?
Well then the issue isn’t with him drooling over Trina’s ass then is it?
Just because your man gets a little hype when Vida Guerra shows her tits, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want you. Is every man in the world forcing women to strive to look better? No. Other women are. Preston said it best, “women…compare themselves to every other thing with a vagina.” Now I will admit there are some jerks on this planet that may openly demean and degrade women by comparing them to models and such. There is no excuse for the actions of these men. The point I am trying to make is that John P. Regular realizes that the women on T.V. are just that, the women on T.V.
We know and grow to love the woman at work, or the friend from college. You see, we fall in love with the people we meet. If you happen to meet one of these women who appear in ad’s or spread it on the web then you have the opportunity to fall for them and vice versa. However, most people don’t fall in love with the people on T.V. — we fall in love with the people who watch T.V. with us…
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You are completely right, it is jealousy. Women can not help it, we see someone rocking some bomb ass shoes or dress and we are like “yea girl that’s cute” but in our minds we are saying “but it would look a whole lot better on me”. Me personally i don’t really care, I don’t need a man or people on the tv telling me i’m beautiful(though it doesn’t hurt) or what beauty is. And might I just say (wait hang on let me put the no homo disclosure up) **NO HOMO** (LOL) women have beautiful bodies so how can I fault a man for looking? If all he’s doing is looking then I really don’t see the problem.
HI HAIGHT-ER!! Thanks for putting me on blast!! LOL
Women trip b/c we’re women - we’re emotional beings. Now some take it too far! Like Bahama said, it is jealousy and I don’t care how good you feel about yourself, your self esteem will drop to a one for at least a split second. Hey, it is what it is! I know that men look, all I’m saying is sometimes I don’t want to hear about it. I’m not going to go commit suicide or go key your car and tell you someone else did it for it - NOT AT ALL!!!
And I’m sorry but you lied about men not liking the SUBTLE jealous tendencies that women have. If your chick didn’t get jealous over something when it came to you, your ass would be thinking about your sexuality! LOL Okay, that’s extreme, but it gives your ego a boost and what man doesn’t like that???
hmmmm… Do I like it when my girl gets a little jealous?? I don’t know. I’ve gotta think on that one…
Men are always frontin like they’re totally secure and nothing bothers them…so when WE get a little jealous, a lot of times women like it. It shows a bit of OUR insecurity. It shows a little bit of vulnerability. But does that work in reverse?? My initial answer would be “NO” because women don’t put up as big or as constant a front as men do…
I PUT UP A FRONT - A MAJOR ONE and it works!!!!
We women are jealous, of course. It’s due to our competitive nature, and we are competitive. You always want to be the most beautiful woman in your man’s eyes, and his noticing anyone else makes you think you’ve slipped a notch. As someone who has modeled, a man drooling over a pic doesn’t bother me because the photos aren’t reality. Every imperfection is airbrushed out, and there are many. So an occasional glance or pause isn’t going to get to me. However, disrespect will. My getting angry because you ogled a woman’s ass isn’t because I’m insecure or jealous but because that is disrespect.
As Bahama, women have amazing bodies, and I’ll admire that. My guy being a heterosexual male, I expect him to. I, in turn, will get distracted anytime The Rock walks across the screen, but I’m sleeping in your bed tonight so why stress?
@Bahama….*standing applause” No “no homo” necessary! You all do have wonderful figures. Personally I enjoy just watching women walk. If only more women were like you! How many times have you heard that today! lol
@Silkie…Oh, it’s not calling you out. It’s fan appreciation!! lol But yeah, I never pictured you for a psycho (but who does for that matter?) so I knew I wasn’t responding to an outward retaliatory type thing. Even the internal can be damaging to both parties. If someone continues to bottle up those feelings, an explosion is on the way. Constant reminders of that jealous side could be construed as insecurity. Some men may like that jealous side but not me personally. For one, we know you have a jealous side so putting up a front does nothing but front. Also, (general question) if a man does like the jealous tendencies and STILL comments on other women….umm, isn’t he playing games? (smells like a blog topic!) And by saying that your front “works” do you mean that you effectively fool your boyfriend or significant other into thinking that you feel one way and you truly don’t? (I smell another blog post!!) I do agree that subtlety is key though. So subtle I don’t even notice!! lol
HI HAIGHT-ER!
and LOL at the psycho bit!
Yes, women have a jealous side but I can’t speak for someone else, my jealousy doesn’t activate until later in the relationship when I really care. And yes, at first I put up a front b/c it has taken me awhile to get to that level anyway, so I try to compress those feelings only b/c I’m actually realizing I’m starting to have feelings for you and I have to make sure the guy is actually worth me letting him know that. So, no I’m not effectively trying to fool my boyfriend. I’m just feeling things out for myself ……….NOW WHAT!
To your “general” question, I won’t even answer that b/c that is playing games and that’s just dumb as hell! That type of dude will find himself playing solitaire.
……oh and smell these!!! LOL
HAIGHT-er!!!
This site is going to get me fired!! lol
@Reina…”As someone who has modeled, a man drooling over a pic doesn’t bother me because the photos aren’t reality. Every imperfection is airbrushed out, and there are many” Et tu?? Say it aint so Reina!! lol Nah, that is the sentiment I was looking for. I can understand getting mad at a jerk who stares at women in public…in front of you! Quick question though. Men are uber-competitive as well. Why isn’t there the same reaction in men???
@Silkie…LOL @ solitaire! We are getting a bit off topic but thanks!! You inspired me for my next 3 posts!! lol Especially this phrase…”I’m starting to have feelings for you and I have to make sure the guy is actually worth me letting him know that”
@ Haight
Of course, I was referring to the other models regarding airbrushing.
Men have low doses of estrogen so they don’t succumb to emotions as easily. However, men DO get jealous. I’ve had guys get mad at me because another guy was staring though I was doing nothing to encourage him and hadn’t noticed. It’s my fault. “You shouldn’t have worn that.” But you were with me when I left the house.
@ Reina - the guy in your story has higher than normal doses of estrogen…lol…
I may do another post on this in my ongoing “Feminization of Men” series. It’s really some bitchass shit that every guy does. Hey Fellas—here’s a newsflash—When NO ONE is looking at your girl—THAT’S when there’s a problem. What did you do you when you first saw her????? You looked! So stop acting like a little girl and hating on every guy who did the same thing you did. (note: there is certainly a difference between looking and ogling/leering. I’m talking about a respectful glance. You lick your lips at my girl and you’ll get punched in them.)
@ Silkie - I agree with what Haight said — your words got a few gears turning in my head as well. LOL @ solitaire…
@ Haight - “Fan Appreciation” = The funniest thing I’ve heard today.
I was going to let this one ride without commenting but I haven’t blessed an article of yours lately Icky! I applaud the ladies who can see past their jealousy and I also applaud the lady who admits and deals with it. I believe jealousy to be part of being female as Bahama said. I have older sisters and sibling jealousy is a biyotch! I want to make one point though. To Reina. What the gentleman you dealt with experienced was not jealousy. Getting mad at the DUDE for looking at you is jealousy. Getting mad at you is insane insecurity.
I do stray from Haight and Pres on one point though. Men do get jealous. I attribute it to the competition angle that Reina spoke on. If we get jealous of another man, we aren’t worried about looking and being the best for our woman. We want to be and look the best period! Men have an innate drive to want to be the best in the world at anything. Quick look into the mind of a man…So, yeah you may be in my bed when you perk up at The Rock. And yes, I know you perk up when you see me…BUT…does every woman in the world turn their head? No…so let me go holla at these crunches!
Mannnnn. You know I got slapped for looking in the direction of another woman across the street. This wasn’t no regular street either. This was Houston St. in NYC. If you don’t know, Houston is like a 8 lane highway - 3 + 3 + parking ya know - with the island in the middle. What the hell am I seeing at that distance? This is why I don’t mess with Hispanic women. They CRAZY. They will put crushed glass in yo arroz con pollo if you don’t put the toilet seat down.
If you gon look at another woman wit yo woman around, STOP. Don’t think you slick wit yo sunglasses on either. SHE SEE EVERYTHING (even when she not lookin). She takin notes, too. Every time you look, she check off an item on her list of things to fuck up when she get fed up. And don’t say shit cuz then she raises the stakes.
chick on tv/mag/web - shirt or pants
chick on the street - slap
comments “hey she looks good” - withhold sex
handshake/hug/touching - tire
kissing - fuck ya friend
Just don’t do it.
To all da gulls hatin on me an otder models get yo shit togetder. If u dont kep ur nookie tite den he will be lukin mi way :0). Haha. Lol!!!
@ Rika
Seriously? LOL I just can’t.
I see women I think are attractive and I will say it. If I am involved with a guy, I know he will find other women attractive, and I don’t care if he THINKS so, AS LONG AS HE DOESN’T SAY IT!
Yes, it’s a woman thang!
As far as men (for the most part) not having a problem with other attractive men, would a similar situation be one guy hatin’ on another for what he has…nice(r) car, nice(r) house, (more) income, so forth and so on, particularly if your woman is positively commenting on some or all of those things? Would you compare yourself to that guy? Would there be a problem if you perceived that he had “more” than you? Just wondering.
LMAO @ Anthony
*throws a dictionary @ Rika’s head*
I like the idea ChocolateChiq had… guys get jealous about everything else, it seems (what it now termed HATING, hello!). Guys get jealous of all the other things that they prolly believe attracts women, and sometimes does, like the nice shiny cars, shiny jewels, big house, big wallet - all that flashy stuff that says HEY, LOOK AT ME… because apparently my charm & good looks just arent enough!
As a woman, I am can be incredibly jealous, and I cant even justify to myself half the time; the other half is related to my possessive nature. But I do my best not to let it show or say anything to reveal it though. I just brood inside! But I find it hard to distinguish jealousy from insecurity when it comes to men.