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Ask A Girl - Men lie, Women lie…Numbers don’t!

User ImageI.M. Haight 1 October 2008 Ladies - Jump on the Poll 525 views 32 CommentsPrint This Post Print This Post Email This Post Email This Post

I love our “Ask a Guy” section.  I feel like I’m giving back to society by providing an agenda free answer that could help some poor soul.  I’ll be populating that section again soon ladies I promise.

But first I have a favor to ask of you.

An Aunt, whose opinion I trust greatly, once told me:

“a woman will lie to a man until she feels like he is worth the truth.”

Now I realize that all views and opinions are shaped by perspective.  I know that affairs of the heart and human nature hardly ever boil down to right and wrong.  However, I’m asking you if my Aunt is right or wrong.  I want to know what you think about that statement ladies.   I will admit that I have trust issues, so I want to see if I have just cause.   And for what it’s worth…

Be honest!  Here are a few examples so there’s no confusion…

Examples of True, False, and everything in between

True…of course you’re the fuck buddy.  (Inner Monologue “That’s why I leave 6 minutes after we’re done”)

False…women are the most honest creatures on the planet

Mostly True….of course you’re not the 101st fuck buddy

Mostly False…who doesn’t tell al little lie every now and then?

So is it true ladies?  Do we earn the truth???

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32 Comments »

  1. Um, hell to the YES, men have to earn the truth!!! Now I’m not going to go so far as to say lying - only speaking for myself - Have I lied before, yes! But that’s not the point here - LOL due to that fact that at this point in time, I will just withhold information, which means if you don’t ask, I’m not tellin’ - and that my friend, is NOT lying!!!

    It’s not just a women thing, ya’lls punk asses (I’m saying this as an endearment) do it all of the time too - we’re just better at it :) LOL

    //no imageSILKIE TRICKZ (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 8:28 am

  2. I don’t lie. OK! That was a lie. Yes, I do, and I agree with your aunt. Some things just aren’t your business until it is your business. And I get to decide when it is. ;) I hate being caught in a lie because I don’t want anyone to have an upper hand on me. Therefore, I just omit and evade or strip. If you strip or mention sex in front of a guy, he usually forgets whatever he asked you.

    And I’m with Silkie. If you don’t ask, I don’t tell. No volunteering information here.

    //no imageReina (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 8:36 am

  3. Reina, you have a point about the strippin - I’m taking notes!! LOL

    //no imageSILKIE TRICKZ (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 8:49 am

  4. I agree with your aunt. Although I don’t think it’s that way intentionally. When you first meet someone you’re not offering up all the info from jump. It’s more of a gradual process. Somethings you “keep” to yourself until you feel comfortable with them. So a little bit of “you don’t ask, I won’t tell” goes into play here as well. I can’t stand a liar so I try not to lie…ever.

    //no imageloveliesandmusic (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 9:50 am

  5. I agree with LLM, you not going to volunteer all ur strengths and weaknesses on your first date with a girl so why would you expect her to..Plus that’s what dating is for, to get to know the person. But me personally I’m bluntly honest so if you are bold enpugh to ask, I can appreciate the attempt to get to know me.

    //no imageSuga HiL (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 11:36 am

  6. umm I don’t know if I lie that is not how I get down, I am pretty honest about everything as far as how I feel from the beginning to the end. However, it is my universal belief that certain information men can’t handle pre marriage and it is better just not to disclose

    //no imageAngela (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 11:59 am

  7. stripping for a man usually solves ALL problems…big or small…good job BFF Reina…

    anywho…I keep everything a closely guarded secret until I feel dude has made it to the promised land of boyfriend material…then I start answering his questions and volunteering info. I wouldn’t use a word as strong as ‘lie’…ok, maybe I will, but men hide things too. If I don’t feel you need to know how many men I’ve slept with or where I’m going or who the dude calling me is, then I will come up with an answer that BETTER satisfy you…just give me the People’s Eyebrow and keep it moving…if you act right, I’ll start shooting straight with you…eventually…lol

    //no imageChelsea...Not the Girl Next Door (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 11:59 am

  8. I’m disappointed in all of you!!! LOL.

    Nah for real this is very interesting… I wasn’t expecting things to be so lopsided. That poll is like 20% “no lies from me” and 80% “earn it nigga!!” LOL…

    This is like the time that I found out that women pay attention to which way the toilet paper comes off the roll. A girl was like, “make sure we pull the paper up boo boo…not down”.

    I was like….WORD??? Yall notice that shit???? WHY??? I’ve never paid attention to that in MY ENTIRE LIFE….And I had this conversation with a chick like 2 months ago!!!

    I love women!!

    Just when we think we’ve ALMOST got you figured out….you remind us that we don’t know shit…

    So ummmm…isn’t the blatant omission of facts also considered lying. I’m not disagreeing with anyone…just asking that we call things what they are…

    I mean…*girl begins stripping*… I….ummm……..

    //no imagePreston Swagger (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 12:19 pm

  9. @Silkie…Lol. It’s not just a women thing, ya’lls punk asses (I’m saying this as an endearment) do it all of the time too - we’re just better at it LOL…that’s not the point here!! I beg to differ with men. If he’s lying in the beginning he will most likely keep lying. No matter what other priviliges you earn!

    @Reina…Thank you for your honesty…I think! lol I feel what you are saying but it’s funny to hear b/c the “it’s not a lie if I withold the truth” argument has been used for years! With no success for us! That’s why I love women! Don’t trust ya! But I love ya! And the stripping wouldn’t work for me. It would shut me up for the time being but when you were done I’d thank you, slap that left cheek and say, “so, where were we?”

    @LLM…I hear you playing things close to the chest and lying are two different things. My only question is, if two people are trying to get to know each other while doing this dance….how can they last?

    @Suga….I think you and I are from the same school. I love information and I don’t judge. Just let me know what I’m dealing with, is all I’m saying!

    @Chelsea…then I will come up with an answer that BETTER satisfy you…just give me the People’s Eyebrow and keep it moving…I was mad until you said “People’s Eyebrow!” Humor weakens me faster than a woman crying! Once again though I ask. How can we get to the promised land if I feel like I can trust you? I have to earn the right to feel like I can trust you?

    //no imageI.M. Haight (Who am I?) (author)
    1 October 2008 at 12:26 pm

  10. @ Preston:

    I….shush you! Omitting isn’t lying. (For women.) There isn’t anything in my past that I am ashamed of. But if we’re just dating, I’m listening not talking. I have the school of mind that I learn more about you by the questions you ask me. So if you’re asking how many men I’ve had, you’re insecure or you have moral issues. But if you’re asking me what my goals are or something similar, you get an answer. I believe there should be a website equal to carfax.com for women and men. I should be able to tell if you’re late on your child support, got domestic abuse charges, had syphilis earlier this year. That’s stuff I need to know.

    And you should know that I shot a man.

    Seriously, if I’m intimate with someone, then you get to know everything. It’s personal, family things that I keep to myself, and I’m insecure with sharing such intimate things. I just am.

    //no imageReina (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 12:39 pm

  11. And I don’t know who’s stripped for you in the past, but you’ll be asleep after me.

    //no imageReina (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 12:40 pm

  12. I don’t have a reason to lie at the beginning (or really at anytime in a relationship). If a guy asks me something (on a first date / at the beginning of a relationship) that I don’t want to answer, I will tell him that it is either none of his business or something I don’t want to discuss, however, for the most part, I will answer questions truthfully.

    If a guy asks a crazy question, I have a tendency to feel that it tells me something about him.

    Personally, I am a handful to deal with so it is better that he knows up front…

    //no imageChocolate Chiq (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 12:41 pm

  13. Sheesh. All that was for Haight, not Preston. Lo siento.

    //no imageReina (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 12:42 pm

  14. @ I.M. Haight - If I’m asked a question I answer it honestly. I don’t have a problem with that but just offering up the info…nah.

    During the “getting to know a person” stage I am open and honest. I actually like that part. A lot of questions are asked and answered (hopefully) during that time and there’s no room for lying or witholding info. I’m a pretty open person but if you don’t ask i’m not telling. It’s simple.

    //no imageloveliesandmusic (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 1:04 pm

  15. @ Preston - Yes…if you are going to “omit” certain facts from a situation then you might as well have lied to me or not told me at all. Omission is definitely lying in my eyes. Why did you feel the need to leave “those” parts out? huh?…yeah you lying.

    //no imageloveliesandmusic (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 1:14 pm

  16. Some things you just don’t tell - but it’s all in relation to what type of relationship you have with a person. AND everybody DOES NOT tell everything and if you say you do - your ass is definitely lying! SORRY!!!!! There are always stages and you never OMIT the pertinent information like for example if I have some dudes at my crib b/c they came through with some of my homegirls, my man needs to know that. That’s not something you omit.

    When you get to a certain point in your life, playing games has been placed on the shelf, collecting dust b/c there is no need for that. However, play your cards wrong muthafucka and I will get to dustin’ off! LOL

    Lying is really a waste of time! That’s the real deal!

    //no imageSILKIE TRICKZ (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 1:40 pm

  17. @I.M. Haight

    all you have to do is give me what you want in return. I’m not gon flat out lie to no guy as in “No, I’m a virgin and I drive a 2035 Range Rover”…none of that crap, but its all about what kind of honesty a guy is giving me. The line Preston’s aunt used was “a woman will lie to a man until she feels like he is worth the truth.”…whenever I feel that you giving it to me straight, then he can rest assured that I’m doing the same with him.

    And its not like u KNOW i’m not tellin you the truth, the whole truth and nothin but the truth. You know what I tell you. Simple as that.

    And I dare ANY man to be truly thinkin about an argument we having after CHELSEA is done stripping and seducing you. None of that butt cheek slapping over here…u can believe that!

    //no imageChelsea...Not the Girl Next Door (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 3:58 pm

  18. LOL…

    I’m not GREEN today. Whenever the “author” of a post comments on his own article (like Haight–today)…I designed a lovely system where his comment is green.

    I say this because I don’t want to confuse anyone or take any of Haight’s shine (Shine On, My Brotha!!). It was his article today, his aunt’s quote, and his distrust of women (i’m not that way ladies…i trust you…step over here for a second…) LOL…j/k.

    Haight, Tobias & Monet got swallowed by their day jobs over the past few days and so I held it down and you saw A LOT of Preston. But it’s about to balance back out… So give Haight some love…or slap him….it’s whatever…eventually he’ll make you want to do one or the other!! That’s his job!!

    //no imagePreston Swagger (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 4:29 pm

  19. sorry…i meant Haight…its all love!

    //no imageChelsea...Not the Girl Next Door (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 4:45 pm

  20. First let me say that I am loving all this feedback!! There is no right or wrong here…I just wanted to hear it!

    @Reina…I loooove that “datefax” idea!! I say we start that right now! Full discolusre baby! I definitely agree that you learn alot by what the other party asks. I don’t ask personal or questions about family. I know it’s a touchy area so I stay away. And you’re right..it’s just creepy. Not creepy like shootin someone but creepy! lol Oh yeah..I would love to be put to sleep by a dance alone! And that’s not one of those bragging statements. I truly want to be put to sleep by a woman stripping for me! I’ve got to know how that feels!

    @Chocolatechiq…I hear that! I can deal with someone telling me they don’t want to or are uncomfortable sharing something. At least I know that’s the truth.

    @loveliesmusic…I agree with the full disclosure part. Let me now what I’m dealing with! The omission = lying argument I haven’t decided on yet. It’s definitely deceitful though.

    @Silkie…Lying is a waste of time. I agree. However…who decides what is “pertinent?” What “things” do you just not tell? What is important enough to lie/omit?

    @Chelsea…”you know what I tell you..simple as that” That is an underlying motivation for asking this question. We just don’t know if what you are saying is what is…and vice versa. It goes both ways to be fair. I feel like for the most part women will be honest with their “man” I’m just worried about how much shit I’m shoveled before it gets to that point! lol. Oh yeah…I wasn’t talking about an argument per se. But yeah, I wouldn’t forget about the topic afterwards. And what’s wrong with a little love slap?? lol It’s part of the package…right??

    //no imageI.M. Haight (Who am I?) (author)
    1 October 2008 at 6:24 pm

  21. @ Haight:

    The strip was going to be followed by sex. Claro! (”Of course” for you non-Spanish speakers) My hips are hypnotizing and everything, but that’s a Latina secret no one has told me about. I wish a guy would fall asleep whlie I’m giving him a lap dance. I will have shot TWO men.

    //no imageReina (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 8:15 pm

  22. @Haight

    I was just trying to say it wouldnt just be a love tap and then the convo is redirected to the subject at hand…lol. There would be freakiness to go down after the striptease, if you know what I mean…

    And you’re not being shoveled shit, you are just gettin carefully crafted answers that suit you on your need to know basis.

    //no imageChelsea...Not the Girl Next Door (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 8:15 pm

  23. hold up BFF…u done shot somebody? let me find out I can hire you to do my dirty work…lmao…wait did i say that aloud? and there we go with those matching comments again…

    //no imageChelsea...Not the Girl Next Door (Who am I?)
    1 October 2008 at 8:28 pm

  24. @Reina…”My hips are hypnotizing and everything” You know what…you’re right. I forgot what we were talking about already! Seriously, I had already assumed the sex in my “slap and talk” comment earlier. Now I won’t say you won’t put me to sleep, but if you do I’ll be well rested for the convo when I wake up! I’d never fall asleep dealing with you though. Stripping and sex when I’m mad and bullets when you are!

    @Chelsea…Oh I got you. There’s no need to ruin some good sex with conversation! lol

    “you are just gettin carefully crafted answers that suit you on your need to know basis.” That’s some of the smoothest shit I’ve ever heard! Seriously. I’m adding that to my mental script right now. I can’t even come back to that!

    And oh by the way ladies…please don’t plan any crimes on our site. Thank you.

    //no imageI.M. Haight (Who am I?) (author)
    1 October 2008 at 9:30 pm

  25. Well … if you are going to lie … and then the subject comes back around later on in the relationship and I (with my elephant memory) hear you say something that contradicts what you said earlier … I am going to call you out right there … so the explanation better be good. Or I will question (in my mind) everything you say in the future and everything you have said in the past.

    So play at your own peril. ;-)

    //Mirth Nadir
    1 October 2008 at 11:16 pm

  26. IM HAIGHT - Like I said before, what’s pertinent is all in relation to what type of relationship you have with that person. If I’m committed to you, then I’m obligated to tell you things without you even asking. If I’m not, however; that’s not going down!

    I RELEASE information as the relationship progresses - but I’m not a liar. I just won’t put myself out there like that until I believe I can trust you.
    But don’t ask me a question, when you aren’t ready for the answer!

    //no imageSILKIE TRICKZ (Who am I?)
    2 October 2008 at 4:41 am

  27. “Oh I got you. There’s no need to ruin some good sex with conversation! lol”
    -You’d better not, cuz I’ll be ready to fight (if I had any energy left, that is…)

    “That’s some of the smoothest shit I’ve ever heard! Seriously. I’m adding that to my mental script right now. I can’t even come back to that!” - this is what i do…I have plenty more where that came from!

    “And oh by the way ladies…please don’t plan any crimes on our site. Thank you.” - If anybody asks, you dont know ish! Crime? What crime, officer?

    That is all…

    //no imageChelsea...Not the Girl Next Door (Who am I?)
    2 October 2008 at 6:05 am

  28. Okay so I only read a few comments but jeez…I must be a lil off I mean i know i’m different but hell i’m not that different. I can’t be the only one that is honest from the jump?? I don’t like liars so I don’t lie. If i think the truth will hurt you I rather not comment or tell you I’d rather not speak about it. I feel the truth comes out eventually so why not get it all out? Granted I’m not telling you all my business on the first date but I wouldn’t lie about anything. It goes back to that saying treat others how you want to be treated. That’s what I live by, If i can be honest with you I expect the same in return. Now I shall finish reading the comments

    //no imageBahama (Who am I?)
    2 October 2008 at 6:15 am

  29. okay i skim’d and i see i wasn’t the only one…and just to claify all women do lie, I’ve lied before but not about anything to do with me or my life just lies like uh “yeah you hit the spot” and stuff like that..

    :-)

    //no imageBahama (Who am I?)
    2 October 2008 at 6:21 am

  30. @ Haight…omission is lying. i don’t care how you put it.

    @ Bahama…I agree. completely.

    //no imageloveliesandmusic (Who am I?)
    2 October 2008 at 7:39 am

  31. @Mirth…”I will question (in my mind) everything you say in the future and everything you have said in the past.” That’s exactly my point. I don’t want to get like that. Just hit me with the goods up front! I do feel the need to be discretionary, I just don’t like the dosey-doh UNTIL you trust me.

    @Silkie…I do feel that. That is one of the reasons why I don’t nec. ask questions. I’d rather you feel like you can confide. I’m just making sure that before you can confide in me, I’m not getting lied to.

    @Chelsea…Fight huh? Well wrestling only leads back to the sex…so I guess you’re right. We won’t be having any conversation!! lol

    @Bahama….”lies like uh “yeah you hit the spot” That’s the WORST thing to lie about! lol You probably have some dudes out there trying their “move” on other girls and wondering why it aint working!! lol

    @Loveliesmusic….Oh, I’m undecided. It was some of your sisters out there that held to the omission doctrine.

    //no imageI.M. Haight (Who am I?) (author)
    3 October 2008 at 10:36 am

  32. It’s called lying by omission… if you are intentionally leaving out key details. That used to be my lie. When someone asks you something and you give them the “truth” but not all of it; when you know exactly what they’re looking for and you give them all the details except something you might feel “guilty” or “ashamed” of .. LIES!

    Nowadays I just lay it all out there. What am I hiding? My true self… If I dont feel comfortable enough to answer the question, I tell the guy I reserve the right not to answer at this time.

    //no imageStefani (Who am I?)
    8 October 2008 at 9:59 pm

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