Ladies, It’s Time to Come Clean
October 3, 2008 by I.M. Haight
Filed under Ladies, Polls | 1,857 views
On oral sex… You can use a fake name, an actual name…whatever…we just ask that you keep your opinions real! Fellas, for the scientific integrity of this very very important survey, you are asked not to vote. But EVERYONE please share why you hate, love, or are luke warm on oral sex in the comments! Good experiences, bad experiences…share whatever has shaped your current view of giving head. Let’s get into it!
RESULTS
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As a male I can attest that there is a full spectrum of how women relate to oral sex. Those women who love oral sex really like it and are likely to innitiate oral sex. My experience has led me to believe that few women are good at it.
Not to brag, but I give great head.
Okay, to brag.
My boyfriend came from a relationship where head was for birthdays and Christmas. When we started having sex, I gave him a beej at least twice a week. Half because it was a new talent I discovered I was good at, and half because he thought nothing was hotter than cuming on my face, which in turn was hot for me.
I mean to say that it must be a give and take. It’s not enjoyable if the woman is giving and never recieving. Blow jobs become less fun when it’s always one-sided. I am lucky to not be in this situation, but when it’s been two weeks, and he’s had his share… I better have mine.
I must say I enjoy giving oral sex as well…
its sumthing about the way a man reacts and how he looks at you like you CREATED the earth when you finish that makes me do it.
However, the guy that is blessed with oral MUST be one that I believe will truly appreciate and enjoy it. Not just on some ol “I LOVE gettin my lollipop serviced” type stuff, but that will truly appreciate the fact that some chicks just DO NOT get down with the oral and me, as his sexual partner, believes in pleasing him on a level that isn’t all that socially acceptable. I’m good at it (actually pretty damn great at ALL things sexual if I do say so myself) and he should NEVER hesitate to return the favor, nor take it for granted. Make sense?
I’m debating on whether I should comment on this or not. I’ll be back.
Lol @ Reina…
All I am going to say is that what one woman won’t do… another one will.
mrsFAB…so true.
All I’ll say is that I know how to satisfy my man. EVERYTHING he needs is right here at home. TRUST!
Oh…btw Merchent Men (and women..I don’t discriminate) there’s a question posted on my site that I really need an answer to. Stop by when you get a chance.
Preston’s Take:
I LOVE going down on women (not just ANY ol…of course…but you know what I mean). I think Chelsea hit the nail on the head. It does have to be a two-way street (and I do give that look she described…lol)
But I enjoy watching her writhe… and … moan … and … tense … and…jerk…and put her hand on the top of my head … and … relax …and sigh.
So I can smile at her like…”yeah…uh huh…”
But that might just be me. Aight LL&M, I’m going over to check out your post
I can relate to those of you who say you don’t like to brag, but that’s exactly what I’m going to do. When you’re good, you’re good and you’re only good at something if you like to do it. Giving my man head is like a hobby to me. I like the fact that he’s not shy about reciprocating with head of the same quality, YOU GO BOY!
Oh and Haight this is your damn post! You better comment!
@Reina — hmmmm… This is the first reservation I’ve seen from you. Interesting…
for me, it really depends on the guy. i’ve been in relationships before with selfish lovers, some more so than others. usually that was an indication of other problems in the relationship, but i digress. but when i’m in a relationship and everything is working right (like i am now), i agree with julia and chelsea, there’s nothing like pleasing my man! knowing that he is totally satisfied, when he doesn’t want to leave the house, except to go to work, i know that my work here is done! *LOL not to mention the fact that he loves to reciprocate. maybe be not on the same day or on any kind of schedule but he thoroughly enjoys pleasing me as well. there has to be passion and reciprocity. and i don’t believe in rationing it out just on special occassions. because there might be a birthday or anniversary when i just don’t feel like it. then there are expectations and disappointment. like MrsFab says, “what you won’t do, another woman will.”
i guess the closest thing i can compare it to is like when you were a kid and you had the crappiest day of your 10 year old life and you come home and your mom cooked your favorite meal. she didn’t know what you when through that day and it wasn’t even a reward for anything in particular. it was because she loved you and was thinking about only you.
“When you’re good, you’re good and you’re only good at something if you like to do it.” — Angelicone
I COULD NOT have said it any better!!! It is not possible!!
Ok. I’m back. Maybe I should change my name before replying.
In college, I had hangups about this. Only sluts did it. (I was raised in a Christian household, man.) And though I’m much more open-minded, I have NOT progressed to the point that someone can c*m on my face. I’m not judging, but uh no. I don’t care if it does have protein.
Nowadays, I’m competitive, and I like being the best. I approach head the same way. I put 100% into it because I want to please my man to high heavens. And doing so gives me bragging rights. While he’s on the bed numb, I get up, slap my chest, and flex. LOL
On the flipside, I’ve never had a guy who held out on tasting me. I’ve never been a guy who didn’t adore it and approach it with abandon. And I probably wouldn’t remain with someone who did. So it’s never been a give and take or you do me, and I do you. I will taste you, and you will savor me whenever we want to. No holidays, birthdays, bs. The best sex is when you approach it unselfishly and with abandon. That’s how I am. (except for the cumming on my face. I just…I just…no.)
@ Preston: Don’t call me out!
cyber-blushing
…I have no problem discussing oral sex in general, but when it comes to speaking on it personally… ummm….
Ladies i know that don’t do oral are by themselves. Me personally it’s a requirement….lol.
Gman
@Gman Are you 18 years old?
Seriously, that type of juvenile behavior degrades the quality of the discussion.
Ok, so I’m at work and I can’t go to the printer now. I’m just saying!
I was worried for a moment Reina. If we touched on a subject that you wouldn’t comment on, the FCC wouldn’t be far behind! Now to my favorite quotes!
“half because he thought nothing was hotter than cuming on my face, which in turn was hot for me.”…..that sentence was hot for me!
“believes in pleasing him on a level that isn’t all that socially acceptable…couldn’t agree more. It’s like coming home to a meal that took all day to cook. Sure my lady may enjoy cooking, but she cooked it for me!
” The best sex is when you approach it unselfishly and with abandon”….Bravo! I couldn’t agree more. I actually said something similar to this on your post LLM. I can’t determine when I’ll want you but I know I will…and often. That, to me, is the only way to do it. Spontaneous.
Now to my stance. I love the Australian kiss!! (think French kiss but down under…have I used that already?) And I’m damn good! I’m like Reina, if I do something I want to be regarded as arguably the best ever. So, I studied female anatomy, body language, and just generally asked what worked. I’m also like Preston. You can’t beat the response. It’s not nec. a bragging thing for me though, I get that from the leg shake post-coitus. I just like making a woman cum on command. I think it’s f’ed up that you all have to have sex w/o a guarantee of an O. If guys had to deal with those odds, there would be Gladiator style fights once a month in every major city. If I care about you enough, you will cum possibly twice before pipe-age. If we are just doing the do, sorry. That is a priviliged action.
@Reina — Reservation overcome! Don’t think of it as me calling you out…more as a supportive nudge. I’m proud of you ma! lol
@CC — That’s the beauty of the internet. sign out…come back as anonymous chiq and let it all hang out! lol. You’ll feel better…I promise. =)
@Gman — you were watchin that Chris Rock special weren’t you?!?!
His finale…or last joke…or whatever was something like:
“half the women in here trip over oral sex. half the women in here are like ewwww that’s nasty I’m not doing that shit…the other half of the women in here…………ARE IN LOVING RELATIONSHIPS” — Chris Rock (paraphrased)
Et tu, Preston?
@Gman — you were watchin that Chris Rock special weren’t you?!?!
His finale…or last joke…or whatever was something like:
“half the women in here trip over oral sex. half the women in here are like ewwww that’s nasty I’m not doing that shit…the other half of the women in here…………ARE IN LOVING RELATIONSHIPS” — Chris Rock (paraphrased)
I saw the Chris Rock special. So what is Chris Rock trying to say since he got caught f*cking around? Is his wife not giving him BJs or are they not in a loving relationship? Story here. Yeah, I know Chris does not want to part with those $$$….
Anyway, the point I was trying to make with Gman, is any female, who in my opinion, has her mind right immediately assumes a male that makes those kinda comments is immature and has ZERO game. Just some advice…I know this is cyberspace, but I hope he doesn’t make those kinda remarks IRL.
First off - Thanks Haight and Preston for stopping by my site.
Now on to the business at hand…I have to say that at first I was like nah…I don’t want to talk about this. I’m a good girl.
But anyway for the most part I agree with most of you. I have to be in a committed relationship before any of that is jumping off. I do it because I love you and it makes me feel good to know that I make you feel good. I don’t liked to be asked for it but if you’re handling your business the way you should you won’t have to ask. I love when the favor is returned but it’s not really about that for me. It has to do with me pleasing my man and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel anything at all while pleasing him. I hate liars. It feels damn good knowing that he is out of this world and I took him there!
Now I have to come back and say, I like Chris Rock alot!!!!
And really, when he said that comment, I felt really bad for his wife…after hearing about the P.I. and the whole affair.
BTW, the link said they were separated at the time, but other accounts at the time said they weren’t.
Carefully reading the posts… looking for my future wife LOL
*AHEM*
Hey Reina. How ya doin? I think we have a lot in common.
LOL
CC — I feel you. My comment was not an endorsement. It just reminded me of that joke. You raise a good point though. In the moment I was just thinking about the surface humor of the joke. Not about his wife and their issues. I’ll have to read that link you posted. I never knew the details of what went on with them.
But hey…forget all that for right now…this is just a lighthearted Friday post to have a little fun with. To the people who shared a lil bit. Thanks!! To the people who didn’t…it’s all gravy!! We appreciate anyone who drops by and gives us a read. To the people who kept it anonymous…hey…if it wasn’t my site…I might have done the same…lol…so it’s all love there too…
Keep ‘em comin!
@ AT — Always a hilarious pleasure to see you my man. PEOPLE!! READ this man’s articles on weed legalization!! It’s serious…even if you don’t smoke!
I was having a discussion about oral sex with a female friend a few days ago and she was saying how a lot of people claim they don’t give head.
i beg to differ. I think everyone male or female over the age of, probably 19-20 has given head to at least one person.
Why this is still an issue, I have no idea. If you’re having sex, you’re supposed to be pleasing the other person. Oral sex is pleasing. No one says you’re the Holly Hunter of your tri-state area…just that you do what you need to please your man/woman…am I off-base? Or are there REALLY people in their mid 20’s who still haven’t experienced this pheonomena?
@ Chelsea - I agree with you. I hate hearing people say ewww it’s nasty but they have no problem with a dude going down on them. double standards were created by the devil…lol. I hate double standards but they do exist. Anyway…i actually know someone who says that because she can’t offer her husband her virginity she’s saving “that” for him. What do you guys think? Doesn’t practice make perfect?
@ Haight:
Are you saying I talk a lot? Ok, I do. I just have opinions!
@ Preston:
I’m not convinced yours is complimentary either. You’re proud of me for expressing my oral skills. LOL
@ AT
I KNOW yours is not a compliment.
What is with y’all? I’m not coming back. Until Monday.
Yo, Pres how about some mid-day results?? (web nazi!)
First, that Chris Rock joke had me rolling just off of the timing!!
You would be surprised at the number of women who “claim” they don’t give head. and I understand why. there is a certain taboo still associated with it. I won’t toss out the dreaded “double standard” argument here.
@AT…there is definitely some wifey material here! Provided, of course, they are all telling the truth! I’m going to check out that “legalize it” post tonight. Can’t have that in my web history at work! lol
@LLM…anytime sweets. that was a good question to ask. if you haven’t already, pop over to loveliesandmusic’s site and chime in on the topic of the day. I don’t see how a woman in a committed relationship would be completely opposed to it unless she had a sensitive gag reflex!
100% hells yeah practice makes perfect! Once I could clearly tell the young lady didn’t have much experience although she was eager. Nothing in this world is worse than random teeth! I respect any woman who says they are saving head for their husband but for his sake practice on a icee or something!
Sorry for the brevity. It’s almost quittin’ time!!
I personally enjoy giving “head”. I think it is a way to connect with my man that allows him to be completely relaxed and sometimes vulnerable. I love a masculine guy so that’s the kind of man I have. He is an all around guy so I never get to see his vulnerable side. But when he is receiving oral sex he is like putty in my hands. Now as far as him giving oral sex to me, he could use a serious lesson!
@Haight - “for his sake practice on a icee or something!” - that’s all i’m saying. A little practice ain’t never hurt nobody. Her husband would probably appreciate that.
@ Tina - “Now as far as him giving oral sex to me, he could use a serious lesson!” - wow!
@Tina…Please let him know!! The worst thing you can do to a man is let him believe he is competent in some area that he is not. Don’t clown him or nag him, just let him know what you like…and don’t! I had a girl tell me once that she liked giving head b/c she liked the power of having the man’s junk in her hands. Where it goes…he goes!
@LLM….damn skippy! Well it might hurt the test subject if the lady can’t work out the incisor issue! LOL
@Haight…well she’ll have to be gentle with the test subject. i’m sure she’s not blowing any ol’ Tom, Dick and Harry so he’ll be someone she cares about and i guess they both will benefit from the situation.
In regards to Tina’s situation…yeah tell me i’m doing something wrong cause I’ll definitely let you know…in a loving supportive way. LOL
@Preston
I know…it is Friday…didn’t mean to bring in the serious vibe. Ok, everyone resume their TGIF activities!
Truly enjoy giving head = 54.4%
It’s ok…I do it for my man = 33.3%
Do it but don’t like it = 8.8%
Get that out of my face = 3.5%
Thanks to EVERYONE…
Great post …
Ummm … can someone explain the Holly Hunter reference? I am clueless on that one.
The giving head part is cool, but lets take it up a notch. What about when and where you give it?
In the car on a road trip? On a plane? Do you jump your mans bones when he arrives from home unsuspecting and just get to it? (I once came home for lunch one day and my girl had me tingling when I arrived back at work) At the movies in a crowded theater???
I mean the whole location thing can make the “O” even stronger … something about adrinalin (sp?)
And it has to be 50/50 … and switch up and make it different. You can see some strange yet strong emotions if you wake someone up with an “Australian kiss” (I like that!)
@ Reina. compliment? we ain’t even get to that stage yet!
**moving right along**
@ Tina. Hey how ya doin? Did you ever read my guide on Cunnilingus. I wrote it a few years ago. You’re welcome to come over any time so we can *licks lips like LL Cool J* discuss things.
@Reina…I don’t think a writer CAN tell someone they talk to much! I just know that if we pick a topic too risque for you to speak on, then we’ve gone too far! So, are you mad or just acting mad?? (hmmm…sounds like that could be a blog post!) Either way I bet its cute!
@Mirth…Heather/Holly….tomato/tomato! lol I will admit that an O from public/semi-public sex is WAY different.
@LLM….True. Hopefully, the guy is patient enough for her to learn. Question: what exactly could a guy do wrong (besides biting!) while he’s licking the love button?
Naw. I was j/k.
*cracks knuckles*
I really like seriously love fellatio (the word and the deed) it’s one of my favorite past times besides watching sports and reading. And I’d like to think I’m at the head of the class when it comes to knowledge, lol. I think it is one of the sexiest most intimate part of all of sex and that’s why not everyone can get to experiance it, at least not from me. It definitely get’s two thumbs up…
BEAUTIFUL Head needs no introduction, so………
I’ll just take my bow! Thank you and goodnight! LOL
I enjoy it but I didn’t always. One day I realized how much of a turn on it was to know I was turning my man on, I started enjoying more. Plus, I’m really, really, really good at it. I’ve got to stop thinking about it, I’m starting to get myself all hot & bothered, lol!
@ Mirth
I think they meant Heather Hunter, 90’s porn star/sex coach
I’ve been known to wake my man up with an “Austrialian Kiss” (never heard the term before but I’m so jacking it, lol!) I’ve also been known to go down on long road trips while he’s driving. Once in crowded, well lit parking garage, in the car, I know everyone could see, but I didn’t care. I’m like that with regular sex too, in the car, on the beach, or my personal favorite on the elevator. But I’ve been with the same person since I was 18 (I’m 24), so I’ve got to keep it fresh. I don’t ever want him be wanting for anything, sexually or otherwise.
@ Mirth
My answer is yes to all your questions but the plane and crowded theater. Yeah, no. My job’s too public. I can’t be in the news for public indecency.
Awaking someone and being awakened by someone with an Australian kiss, I’ve done it and will continue to do it as well as welcome it.
I was a pro at it b4 my cherry was popped(a couple of years ago). My ex used to wake me up wit an AUSSIE KISS, dat life ws good… We used to jump each other all the time,i remember i was mad at him for some ish…thot it wud b really gr8 to punish the sucker by giving him a mint flavoured Aussie kiss. He ran faster than the roadrunner dat was hilarious.lol! i dd say i’m a pro.