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Ladies - Who’s Coming to Dinner??

User ImagePreston Swagger 10 October 2008 Featured 629 views 35 CommentsPrint This Post Print This Post Email This Post Email This Post

So it’s nearly 2009.  We’ve seen our first black democratic nominee and we may even see our first black president.  The country may finally be looking past race when making important decisions…  Do you do the same in your bedroom?  Could you do the same with your life partner?  I mean putting a black guy in the white house is one thing….bringing someone of another race to the cookout at your family reunion??? Now that’s something completely different.

Ladies, could you marry outside of your race?? Get your elaboration on in the comments.

**As always, feel free to let us know if you think this poll needs another option**

**The results of last weeks poll are in the sidebar**

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35 Comments »

  1. This is a good one. I’m black/italian (not that it matters) but I prefer a SCRUMPTIOUS BLACK MAN! It’s just my preference that’s all. An intelligent, self aware, strong, aggressive (in a good way), witty black man. Someone who knows how to take charge and be a good leader. Someone about his business. There’s something about the way we love each there. The way we communicate with each other. The way he knows how to make me feel safe and protected when I’m with him. The way he’s sexy as hell whether he’s wearing a business suit or jeans and timbs. I don’t have anything against the other races…we can be friends. I’m all for that. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE, LIFE AND FAMILY A BLACK MAN DOES IT FOR ME. He understands me and I understand him. We share the same views (hopefully) on a lot of issues concerning “us” in the past, present, and future. A BLACK MAN DEFINITELY “GETS ME THERE!”

  2. I love Something New! I got a crush on that guy.

    I have no issues marrying outside of my race. As I am a Black/Latina blend and my preferences may be for a man of similar background, I’ve dated a nice mixture of men. As LLM implied, there is something undeniably attractive about a Black man that gives him an edge on other races when it comes to me, but I don’t limit my choices. It doesn’t matter to me what racial package my husband comes in as long as he comes.

  3. It’s sad to me that people actually still disqualify potential mates based on color. I understand that a certain type of person may be more attractive / appealing to you, but you’re limiting your options.

    I find a lot men attractive regardless of color. (Sometimes the color of their skin makes them way more hot) As far as if I would marry someone of another race…sorry already married…and yes…we’re the same race. So I guess that my opinion might not count!?

  4. LL&M — Feel strongly about that do you? LOL… Well you’ll get no arguments from me…

    Reina — Ummm….so…..that double entendre was on purpose, right? Sorry…I was an English major…those jump out at me like a red flag. Nicely done.

    Kiki — NOTHING disqualifies your opinion! I understand your point of view and a lot of people share it. No limitations on love… Thanks for voting (you voted right?!) and don’t make it your last ;)

    –P

  5. Sorry — I forgot that the code on this site automatically turns everything into those corny ass smiley things. I may turn that off. Shit’s girly…LOL…

  6. @ Preston

    I noticed it. I just didn’t feel like rewording my sentence.

  7. @ Preston

    Yes, I voted. I’ve caught several conversations here, but this is the first one I’ve felt compelled to commented on. Now knowing you’re watching my grammer makes me a little hesitant. (JK,JK)

  8. @ Preston - I do feel strongly about that. It’s not about limiting my choices as KiKi stated but it’s about seeking and finding what I like and what appeals to me. If i’m not attracted to you then who do I end up marrying you? It doesn’t make sense. And looks isn’t the only thing that makes a man attractive or sexy to me. Sometimes your personality alone does the trick. The way you make me laugh all the time. The way you’re attentive to my needs. The way you grab me with just enough force during se…oh i’m sorry. going too far there…. :) (and I like the smiley faces)

  9. LL&M, if I didn’t date black men I would’ve been sold just off of your post!
    There’s nothing like ‘em!

    Hey whatever floats anybody’s boat and takes them to another level - a different place - DO YOU!

  10. @LL&M

    If it’s no about looks and is in fact about personality, making you laugh etc…then you are limiting yourself (in my opinion). How do you know that the White, Asian, Hispanic, Indian guy checking you out at the club can’t do those things. What if he’s great at it and you just shot him down and are watching him walk away?

  11. We can be friends. Hang out…kick it and chill. You can be the coolest person ever and keep me dying laughing but if there’s no chemistry between us then it’s never gonna move past that. If it did i’d definitely be up for the challenge. But in my experience Black Men do it for me. There’s never been a strong physical connection between me and guys of other races. When I was highschool i dated a guy who was puerto rican and it was good. he was fiesty (i guess that’s what I liked) but it really never went anywhere. Black Men just have a bigger effect on me. I have a whole different appreciation for them. I understand them. I know how to love them.

  12. @Reina - Silly question. Figured you knew…

    @Kiki — COOOOL!!! Keep ‘em coming! I only grammar check the comments with sexual allusions. Or *puts pinky on chin* illusions…lol…I’m such a geek!!

    @ LL&M — Aight…smileys stay. I just won’t be using them…lol

    @Silkie — L….O….L

  13. What’s your take on this Preston?

  14. hmmmmmm….

    I’m open to dating women of different races…and I have. The great divider for me is who meets Mrs. Swagger…lol. If you meet moms…then things could go somewhere. There have only been 3 girls to meet or talk to her on the phone…

    They were all black or black & latina. I agree with LL&M for the most part. my connections to black women have just been stronger physically/spiritually etc. Does that mean that a woman from another race/ethnic background can’t make that same connection? Nah…

    I’m just saying it hasn’t happened yet…

  15. Preston Swagger ( I had to call your whole name on this one), WTF? LOL

    Let me get this right, you said you have dated women from different races, right? Um, sorry boo, but black/black & latina are not from different races. Did I read something wrong??

  16. @ Silkie — yup. you did. i still love you tho. The only chicks to meet moms (i.e. be a serious relationship–were either black or black & latina).

  17. LOL - okay well give me a pass this time. Corporate Thuggin’ is what I’m doing this evening - they got me all twisted up in the game at work right now!!!!

  18. “my connections to black women have just been stronger physically/spiritually etc.” ~ I agree. It’s almost like an innate thing. you don’t have to think about it or work hard at. It just is.

  19. This is a touchy one for me. My grandfather on my mother’s side is white and father is black, so therefore I’s extra mixed boss!! Lol Sorry.

    I’ve never dated outside of my race and in NC that means white. We don’t have the racial palette that some other places provide. Anyway, I’ve never really been attracted to white women. Don’t know what it is, they just don’t do it for me. As far as my family they wouldn’t care who I brought home as long as I was happy. I think for me the shared experiences/beliefs/uprbringing is the key. If I find a Latina, Asian, or whatever woman who can identify with me then it’s all good. But at the end of the day I agree with LLM, there HAS to be some attraction there for the relationship to last and have fire. So, for me white women are not in the picture. Everything else is fair game though.

  20. @ Preston

    You said “black & latina”? Like an amalgamation of both? *raises hand* Can I be your blog groupie?

    I wonder how much the opinions of others (family, friends) weigh upon our choice to date only one race? My family, both sides, are fairly accepting to the race of someone I bring home. (Actually, at this point, they’d just be happy if I bring ANYONE home. Operation Reina’s Marriage has been in existence for the last year.) I can’t say I don’t see color, but it seems so inconsequential. And I understand everyone who’s mentioned not being attracted to certain races. Asians from the Far East don’t do it for me.

  21. @ Silkie — It’s all good. They got me all twisted up too!!

    @ LL&M — “It’s almost like an innate thing. you don’t have to think about it or work hard at. It just is.” — I agree. I think one reason for that is what Haight was saying — “the shared experiences/beliefs/upbringing is the key”. And you typically find that — NOT ALWAYS — but typically find that in people of yours or a few select other races/cultures.

    @ Haight — What’s good? We’ve neglected the sports site. Who do you like this weekend??

    @ Reina — Yes and Yes. I’m a North Jersey boy…so it was all black and puerto rican women for me. I was at the Puerto Rican Day parade every year! Next you’ll tell me that’s what you are…

    Oh and I saw how you specified “Far East” for the Asian population… Had to leave the door open for The Rock, huh?? LOL

  22. @ Preston - exactly. I think you can connect with anyone on a superficial level but when it comes to a deeper connection I have a better understanding of the black man and what he goes through making it easier for me to love him and…make it all better!

  23. Haight,

    You don’t date white women because you’re beige. Your light skin disease has you afraid to sire another redbone.

    I kid. My grandmother is white so I’m on the beige side myself. As for me, I like women of all races, ethnicities, sports team affiliations, etc.

  24. Man I’m rotisserie gold! I will NEVER claim beige! I don’t care what project you and Monet are working on! (yeah, I know about it!) And we all know you don’t turn down anything but your collar! But I will admit that I am color struck. I am extremely physically attracted to darker skinned women. Pretty much every person in my family has married someone on the opposite end of the melanin spectrum. I’m sure there are some deep seeded reasons why. But I don’t really care. I mean if I ever meet a white girl I dig, I won’t cross her off the list just b/c she’s white. Now if she’s white AND has no ass…well there’s only so much a man can take!! lol

    I’m glad you mentioned sports affiliations b/c I forgot to give my disclaimer earlier when I spoke on what I was attracted to. I’m picky as hell. I have admitted that to myself and I have to live with it. I say that to say this…yes, I stopped talking to a chick once b/c she was s Duke fan! This was during America’s fellatio of JJ Redick so I was extra salty!

    @Swagg….yo, get on Monet man! He’s the gambler. I just stick with the predictions!! Which by the way I’m shooting pretty bad with the MLB playoffs. The White Sox are gone and the Red Sox advanced. I do think OK will win big this weekend though! Mark it down!

  25. [...] about covering this the other day but all props to Truth Merchants for beating me to it <Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner>? But I still reserve the right to expound on the issue.  In a time where we might be seeing a [...]

  26. You don’t mind if I PING this do ya hahahaha!!! me and my girlies talk about this all the time…I think we as black women are limiting ourselves based on ignorance. More importantly than race, we should open ourselves up to men who will RESPECT us and treat us good first and foremost. There are alot of things we love about the Brothaz…but not all brothaz treat us good so why are we so loyal as to not step out of the “box”. Preference is preference but we should go for respect and mutual attraction….that boy Pres keeps it coming :) nice to speak with ya again….I could tell we’d be kickin it if we met in real life..cool peeps

  27. As I was swamped at work yesterday, I couldn’t respond. But now I have time … hope it isn’t too late. On the title … the orginal movie is a classic that could actually be released today and be relevant.

    @ Preston - i hear you about meeting Mrs. Swagger … I am the same way, my moms has met two girls I have been serious about. It just so happens one was Indonesian (I was whipped when bringing her home)and my moms was not happy nor considerate at all. One of the roughest weekends of my life. My mom had never emailed me before this trip but after we left she sent me an email and went off about using the wrong “head” to think!! OUCH!!!

    I will note that after breaking up with this Indonesian girl, I swore off all Asian women as that hot temper was too much for me to invest future time in.

    However, when I arrived in califonia to live about 1.5 years ago … I took a look around one night (@ the soccer field mind you) and called my boy back east (DC for me) and told him my boycott of Asian women is OVER. There are plenty of cuties out here.

    I say all that to say that I don’t discriminate. If I am fortunate enough to meet someone who I vibe with on all levels and she is physically appealing to me (including the tail), I am all for it … Meeting Mrs. Mirth Nadir (mom) will be tough, but if she is the one, she will be ready.

  28. @SOTB Goddess — Ping away!! You know you’re the homey!! Welcome back!! I missed your blog! You always keep that thing EXTRA real. Oh and I have NO DOUBT we’d get along…I’ll holla next time I’m in South Beach!

    @Mirth — I feel you! Southern Cali is a very interesting mix of races. A couple of weekends ago I was kickin it with a girl who was half Vietnamese and half Mexican. All I kept thinking was, “where did your parents even meet?????”…LOL.

    So you were dating a Malaysian, huh? I have no experience there. It’s crazy tho, as cute as the girl from a couple of weeks ago was…the attraction wasn’t QUITE the same as it is to sistas/latinas. Again…I’m not sayin it can’t happen. And I’m not saying it won’t happen…because, like you…I don’t discriminate either. I’m just sayin it hasn’t yet. 1 girl on this planet could have definitely got Preston down the aisle…and she was black…

  29. I’ve never dated outside my race, not saying I wouldn’t but the oppourtunity never presented itself.

    **sidebar Keith Olbermann could get it**

    I just find I am more attracted to men that are black. As for the family thing, they wouldn’t care. They probably think I should be with a white guy anyway since I’m “proper”… *rolls eyes* As for the topic of limiting yourself, is it really limiting if your not attracted to anyone outside your race? I mean how could it be if all you like are people that are the same race as you?

  30. @ Preston-

    There is something about an educated, business-minded Latina that gets me going. I have a sweet tooth for them. I blame living in Miami for almost two years for that.

    But yes … there have been two girls I would think about bringing down that aisle … one sister and one Indonesian (Malaysian) girl … I don’t discriminate but a snow bunny would have to really blow me (pause) away and be strong mentally …

    You should revisit this every so often. It is a hot topic. Everyone should be required to do homework like watching the original “Guess who is coming to dinner “.

  31. @Bahama KO! *dead*

    I am attracted to Black men…and in the age of Obama let me clarify, black includes anyone that has ONE black parent. For some reason, I feel that Puerto Rican men fall into the black catergory too…

    It’s not that I don’t find some non-black men attractive (note above definition), it’s just that I don’t see myself dating them or being involved in a long term relationship with them. Don’t feel like we would have a whole lot in common.

  32. @CC - how’d i kill you?? LOL i think i know but i’m not sure.

  33. Bahama,

    I was laughing at “sidebar: Keith Olbermann could get it!”
    I love KO, too!

  34. LOL, got cha! him and Anderson Cooper..if he weren’t gay.

  35. WOW!! I didn’t know the CNN guys were so hot in the streets!! LOL Damn ladies! Olberman is my dude though. He stayed jabbin Bush. I loved him for it.

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