Where Are Your Nuts - The Series (Part 2)

As I’ve mentioned before, guys are becoming effeminate at alarming degrees and speeds. I traced this issue’s origins and how widespread it has become.

Put simply: It’s a problem.

So I’ve decided to catalog the things that guys are doing that are really estrogen-laden.  This is Part 2 in that series.  Hopefully it can help these guys make changes one at a time and we can begin to conquer this problem slowly but surely. Worst case scenario I can say I did my part.

Today’s Offense: Extra Sexiness Online

[Update -- I almost forgot to mention that this post was inspired by the homey Mandii Nichole's cease and desist letter, written to extra sexy guys on the internet.]

The internet has become a prolific tool for meeting women and sleeping with them getting to know them.  As such, there is one thing that may prove more important than anything else.  One thing that may make or break the deal right from the very beginning.

Your picture.

Hey, I understand the importance.  You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression — and in the virtual world — your picture is most often your first impression.  So…

You put on your favorite shirt or take it off if you’ve got a six pack or whatever.  You try to get your bathroom lighting just right.  Some of yall fools throw on lip gloss or your fake diamond studs.  You get the camera you used grandma’s gift certificate (plus $100 of your own money) to buy — and you get your amateur photographer on.

But fellas can we tone it down some?  PLEASE?!  Take off the lip gloss!  And if you’ve been killin the gym — go ahead, show it off — but don’t pull your pants down to the absolute line between rated PG and R.  I even saw one dude turn his pants so that the zipper was by his leg.  It looked like the inverted version of a slit on a woman’s dress!!

C’mon man!!!

If you in anyway resemble Ginuwine from the “My Pony” video in your profile picture…..it’s time to do some soul searching!!  Put your tongue back in your mouth!  It’s still photography, you idiot.  No woman can tell how your tongue moves if the picture doesn’t move!!  And if you have an animated picture of yourself!!??!!

Fellas, you come off looking desperate — or like a male stripper.  Neither is really that dignified.  Your picture need only get your foot in the door.  Your mouth should take you the rest of the way…

But you don’t know anything about that do you, sexual chocolate??

–Pres

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Ladies Poll - The Big Finish

Happy Friday!!  Today’s poll is self explanatory, but if you have any questions, feel free  to email me.  Ladies, during oral, how do you prefer the finale???  As always…whether you log in or keep it anonymous…we just ask that you are painfully honest.  Get your comments on too!!!

–Pres

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Ask A Guy - Where do players come from?

So yesterday’s reader submission also delved into the topic of players.

Do they ever fall in love?

Where do they come from?

Let’s take it from the top.  Everyone has the potential to fall in love.  People are puzzle pieces and some of us have very unique shapes.  Their jutting edges need your valleys to give them space and wrap around them.  In turn, they need your protrusions to fill them.  “Fill” is probably the wrong word — because I’m not referring to one or the other “lacking” — just them fitting together.

Puzzle pieces…

Some people never find the piece that fits them.  It’s tough.  Especially when you consider that people change — people grow.  You’re puzzle piece isn’t the same shape as it was when you were 21 or 25 or 30.  It means your partner grew with you.  And that’s a pretty amazing thing when you consider the odds.  That’s why every player I’ve ever known has one person in their life whose relationship they envy.  One person in their life who when they look at, they think, “yeah, if I found that, I’d probably settle down…”.  It’s because even they can see how great it is when two people just fit together.

Where do they come from?

Who knows.  It’s like asking where criminals come from.  Some from poor neighborhoods?  Yup.  Some from rich ones? Yup.  Broken homes? Sure.  Homes that resemble Leave it to Beaver?  Yessir.

I don’t think there’s a scenario that creates a player.  For every single one that you’d think would, I’m sure you’ve seen a case where it didn’t.  It’s a mind state — and those can come from anywhere.  A good friend of mine grew up in a home that resembled the Huxtables.  His first love didn’t break his heart.  He didn’t grow up around a bunch of women.  His father was around.  And watching that guy with women is like watching Kobe with a basketball.  And do you know why?

He’s a sales guy.  That’s it.  That’s all.

He works in the financial industry.  Everyday he sells and closes for very high stakes.  He simply applies this to his love life.  He sells himself.  He’s presuasive.  He knows the stakes.  He knows how to get you to say “yes”.  It’s what he does EVERY SINGLE DAY.  He’ll probably never settle down…because once he does…then the market is closed for good.  Like I said, it’s a mind state, and an interesting one at that.

Me?  I’m not perfect…but I’m not like that either.  The right buyer takes me off the market.  I’m an odd puzzle piece though…

–Preston

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Ask A Guy - Reader Submission

Apologies for the absence, but now I’m back like I left somethin’!!!  While on our little hiatus we received some reader submissions asking for our take on a few things.  This is the first:

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I am single.  I don’t meet many men.  I am open to it though.  I don’t sleep around. I am good people, finances in order, not a troll, etc.  There was a guy I met almost two years ago.  He travels. All over the world.  He was nearby for a year.  He was married.  He said not happily.  I fell for him in a BIG way.  Just a typical player……..but my we had fun!  GREAT SEX! Laugh! Never have I laughed so much.

He went away.  Job ended.  Thought I would never see him again.  Ok with that.  I knew what I was getting into.  He came back!  Just for a while , but he came back.  Another wonderful TRYST!  He went away, email funnies etc continued , hey how are ya etc. His initiation.  Then he offered up the info he divorced after all.  He is NEVER going to be a one woman man.  Knew that from the start.  I went to see him on the job.   GREAT TIMES!!

Here is the question.  This man IS a definite player.  Many women, all over the world.  Yet he calls almost daily, emails alot, mostly funnies, and he is still a very entertaining man. But he says stuff like why don’t you move to where I live, I luvyalotz, which is not the same as I LOVE YOU, as we know.  And we talk about all of his conquests, which are mostly just convenient for him.  I am planning a trip again to meet up with him.  The sex is FANTASTIC, he makes me laugh, he has been with many women since I saw him 6 months ago.  WHY is HE getting scared? I love him in a way that is comfortable.  He is a friend true and true.  he stepped up and helped me with a family matter, so I KNOW he is GOOD people too. I plan to go and have a great time and then go back home.  He keeps saying you are really trying to collar me arn’t you, in the same sentence, I can’t wait to see you!

Does a player ever really fall in love?  Should I be concerned?  I KNOW he is not the man I would EVER marry or commit to, but yet it’s been two years and there is no one else so why not have fun while i can?  What exactly makes a player a player anyway?  A first girlfriend that broke your heart?  Your Mom? Sex with older women at a very young age? What?

What say you?

———

OK, so this reader submission had quite a few questions in it.  The Player questions we’ll deal with tomorrow.  Let’s dip into your dealings with this man.

First, the basics:

Don’t move!  Moving to be in a relationship is dicey.  Moving to be in THIS type of relationship is crazy.

Your exactly right.  If the word “love” is spelled with a “u” or used as an improper noun (i.e. - how are you, love?) it’s pretty much a given that it’s just an affectionate greeting.  Ladies, even when it is spelled with an “o”, don’t lose your head.  That “luvyalotz” stuff is just ear candy — sounds sweet, but no nutritional value.

I personally think you should keep doing what you’re doing - visit him when you can and let him do the same.  Continue to talk, laugh, swap emails and have great sex.  Sometimes distance can help cancel out some of the things that can drag down a typical “Friends With Benefits” situation.  You’re also being realistic (you know you’d never marry or have a future with this man).  So I say keep things exactly how they are.

A word of caution though: HE may fall for YOU.  Don’t believe it though.  It seems he’s already hinted at it when he said, “you are really trying to collar me aren’t you”.  Seems puzzling that he would say that, doesn’t it??  You are not trying to collar him — far from it infact.  You pose the question. “WHY is HE getting scared”.

Here’s the answer:

You aren’t like the rest.  I’m sure most if not all of the other ladies he has some sort of relationship with, want more than what he’s currently giving.  You don’t.  You’re cool to chill, laugh, sex, and go your separate ways.  Ironically enough, the fact that you DON’T want a relationship will probably make him think he DOES.  But this thought will be fleeting.  If a man walks into a party and 10 girls are immediately on his dick and the 11th girl pays him no mind — he’s gonna go talk to the 11th.

100% of the time

Who is she?  Why doesn’t she want me?

Right now…you’re the 11th girl.  Enjoy it, but remember if you fall for any of that relationship or “move near me” crap he’s pulling — you’ll soon be treated like the other 10.

–Preston

Tomorrow we’ll get into the whole, “what makes a player a player” thing.  And if anyone else has a question, feel free to email it to: askaguy@truthmerchants.com and we’ll give you the right answer our thoughts…

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