Ask A Guy - Where do players come from?
December 2, 2008 by J (Preston)
Filed under Ask A Guy, Relationships | 355 views
So yesterday’s reader submission also delved into the topic of players.
Do they ever fall in love?
Where do they come from?
Let’s take it from the top. Everyone has the potential to fall in love. People are puzzle pieces and some of us have very unique shapes. Their jutting edges need your valleys to give them space and wrap around them. In turn, they need your protrusions to fill them. “Fill” is probably the wrong word — because I’m not referring to one or the other “lacking” — just them fitting together.
Puzzle pieces…
Some people never find the piece that fits them. It’s tough. Especially when you consider that people change — people grow. You’re puzzle piece isn’t the same shape as it was when you were 21 or 25 or 30. It means your partner grew with you. And that’s a pretty amazing thing when you consider the odds. That’s why every player I’ve ever known has one person in their life whose relationship they envy. One person in their life who when they look at, they think, “yeah, if I found that, I’d probably settle down…”. It’s because even they can see how great it is when two people just fit together.
Where do they come from?
Who knows. It’s like asking where criminals come from. Some from poor neighborhoods? Yup. Some from rich ones? Yup. Broken homes? Sure. Homes that resemble Leave it to Beaver? Yessir.
I don’t think there’s a scenario that creates a player. For every single one that you’d think would, I’m sure you’ve seen a case where it didn’t. It’s a mind state — and those can come from anywhere. A good friend of mine grew up in a home that resembled the Huxtables. His first love didn’t break his heart. He didn’t grow up around a bunch of women. His father was around. And watching that guy with women is like watching Kobe with a basketball. And do you know why?
He’s a sales guy. That’s it. That’s all.
He works in the financial industry. Everyday he sells and closes for very high stakes. He simply applies this to his love life. He sells himself. He’s presuasive. He knows the stakes. He knows how to get you to say “yes”. It’s what he does EVERY SINGLE DAY. He’ll probably never settle down…because once he does…then the market is closed for good. Like I said, it’s a mind state, and an interesting one at that.
Me? I’m not perfect…but I’m not like that either. The right buyer takes me off the market. I’m an odd puzzle piece though…
–Preston
Loading ...
Pssh…Boooooooooooooooo!!! Hey player…shut the f**k up!
Players, pimps, macks, Big Daddies, ballers, ladies’ men, boppers…THEY ALL SUCK! They’re like that cuz their SELFISH! That’s all there is to it…maybe one day some amazing chick will get them to change their mind and see the light…or maybe they’ll be manwhores spreading their baby batter every which a way for life.
Who knows? Just keep that mess on YOUR side of the fence, thank you!
So people who work in the financial industry make really good players? Let me start putting my skills to work. I need to wrap a few men around my fingers so that I may puppeteer.
Chelz - Players who are honest, you can’t have a problem with. If someone tells you what’s on the other side of a door and you still decide to walk through it — that’s on you. Not to mention that I think there may be just as many women out there juicing men as there are men playin hearts. Am I wrong about that my dear friend chelz? Someone was JUST explaining the term “cash on climax” to me not too long ago…
Reina - It’s more about sales, luv. Just working in the financial industry isn’t it. It just makes the stakes higher. You close million dollar clients all day–you probably won’t do too bad with closing women.
I’ll sell ice in the winter. I’ll sell fire in hell. / I am a hustler baby. I’ll sell water to a whale — Jay-Z
@ Preston
I could handle that. Firm handshake, strong eye contact, and say enough of the truth to make them want more but make it seem as if they’re in control. Shouldn’t be too hard.
I’m a woman, but can I take a stab at this?
What makes a man a player? Lots of self-confidence combined with a combination of traits a certain group of women find attract (not all players can attract all types of women) plus add in that the guy is a decent personality and the guy is not ready to settle down, PRESTO! You have a player.
I say as long as the guy is honest, DO YOU!
If a guy is clear that he is not ready to completely commit to a woman (because you know he will go halfway there), I don’t think the term “playa” fits….I think of him as a guy who like the company of different women.
I know women can get caught up in the mixed messages these type of guys send, but I think both parties are to blame….that’s not to say I won’t show my azz in this type of situation, but I have to admit to myself that I am also at fault, so the blame game ends up being a wash.
I think too many women want to change these so called players. You can’t change them, they are like crack addicts and drug fiends. They have to want to get better, you can’t force them to go to rehab. It won’t end up good. I don’t really care where playa’s come from so long as they leave me alone. lol
@ Chiq I believe we shouldn’t call them player either because as long as they make it clear and have no room for misinterpretation from jump it’s not the “players” fault you fall for them.
I think being a player takes a lot of brain work to some but to others it comes naturally. As for if guys are players more often than women I think not because women are more honest when it comes to what we want. I like men enough to know that I like having 2 and a spare.
It’s all rigthere in your conclusion. It’s a state of mind. Many Players need a constant confirmtion of their machismo, braado, skills, etc. The Game allows them to constantly seek that gratification.
I’m a woman and I’ve been a “player” for more than a decade. Men shower me with adoration and attention and hope that I’ll give up all other dudes in order to become monogamous. The key to being a player, I believe, is keeping it real. None of the dudes I date think that they’re the only one. Maybe they like the challenge and they’d feel differently about me if I were more available. Who knows? I just know that I’m not about to settle down, and as long as men play up to my needs, why should I change?