Where Are Your Nuts - The Series (Part 2)
December 18, 2008 by J (Preston)
Filed under Relationships, Where Are Your Nuts | 248 views
As I’ve mentioned before, guys are becoming effeminate at alarming degrees and speeds. I traced this issue’s origins and how widespread it has become.
Put simply: It’s a problem.
So I’ve decided to catalog the things that guys are doing that are really estrogen-laden. This is Part 2 in that series. Hopefully it can help these guys make changes one at a time and we can begin to conquer this problem slowly but surely. Worst case scenario I can say I did my part.
Today’s Offense: Extra Sexiness Online
[Update -- I almost forgot to mention that this post was inspired by the homey Mandii Nichole's cease and desist letter, written to extra sexy guys on the internet.]
The internet has become a prolific tool for meeting women and sleeping with them getting to know them. As such, there is one thing that may prove more important than anything else. One thing that may make or break the deal right from the very beginning.
Your picture.
Hey, I understand the importance. You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression — and in the virtual world — your picture is most often your first impression. So…
You put on your favorite shirt or take it off if you’ve got a six pack or whatever. You try to get your bathroom lighting just right. Some of yall fools throw on lip gloss or your fake diamond studs. You get the camera you used grandma’s gift certificate (plus $100 of your own money) to buy — and you get your amateur photographer on.
But fellas can we tone it down some? PLEASE?! Take off the lip gloss! And if you’ve been killin the gym — go ahead, show it off — but don’t pull your pants down to the absolute line between rated PG and R. I even saw one dude turn his pants so that the zipper was by his leg. It looked like the inverted version of a slit on a woman’s dress!!
C’mon man!!!
If you in anyway resemble Ginuwine from the “My Pony” video in your profile picture…..it’s time to do some soul searching!! Put your tongue back in your mouth! It’s still photography, you idiot. No woman can tell how your tongue moves if the picture doesn’t move!! And if you have an animated picture of yourself!!??!!
Fellas, you come off looking desperate — or like a male stripper. Neither is really that dignified. Your picture need only get your foot in the door. Your mouth should take you the rest of the way…
But you don’t know anything about that do you, sexual chocolate??
–Pres
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1st — appreciate the update
2nd — Ginuwine’s “Pony” video was an excellent piece of craftmanship.
3rd — Stop calling out people on my Friends List! I will admit that the sideways jeans may be a bit much, but…okay it is! But the females seem to like it. I don’t get how it’s “estrogen-laden”, though. Through my travels across the net, I’ve seen just as many males in overhead bathroom pics as females.
1st — you’re welcome. i was suddenly compelled.
2nd — i dig most of ginuwine’s music. it was the soundtrack for a lot of good times in my life. even this, doesn’t change the fact that he had WET CURLY-Q SIDEBURNS in that video!! I don’t care who you are — that’s uncalled for.
3rd — this is why you’ve been nicknamed “DETONATOR”. no one knew who i was talking about in this blog post. i kept everything anonymous — I just said “I even saw one dude turn his pants so that the zipper was by his leg.” — i didn’t mention you, myspace, facebook, friendster, yahoo…or anything else. that’s not calling anyone out.
BUT…lol
thanks to you though, they know just where to go to see this guy. your name is a LINK TO YOUR MYSPACE PAGE! spot blown, Detonator…
Lastly, it is estrogen laden. You’re the man, right? You’re pullin chicks left and right…right? So just take a fuckin picture. It’s not a glamor shot, dude!
“I’ve seen just as many males in overhead bathroom pics as females.”
THAT’S THE PROBLEM! Chicks should be gettin all done-up and cute for their little picture. Guys…it shouldn’t be that serious.
“But the females seem to like it.”
Yeah…and dudes like when chicks come to the club in mini-skirts with no panties on. How do YOU feel about that girl? Don’t you say to yourself, “damn, chica — have a little more dignity” — Well that’s all I’m sayin…
@ Preston
I didn’t detonate anything. My page is private. And he wants the attention so he’d appreciate my directing more traffic to him.
“Chicks should be gettin all done-up and cute for their little picture. Guys…it shouldn’t be that serious.”
Well, that’s unfair. I should put on my shiniest lip gloss, put my hair in its most flattering style, and find the best angle whereas yo behind puts no thought into it and just snap a pic wrinkled & disheveled. Boo Preston!
And about the girl with no panties, she’s doing her. It wouldn’t be me, and I will judge her though I shouldn’t. But men still like it. I don’t approve of her OR the guys showing their hipbones, but I won’t voice too many complaints about the latter.
@Reina — Gotcha. Well in that case, tell your myspace friend, he’s welcome.
I’m not saying guys shouldn’t look good in their picture. I’m not saying they shouldn’t try. I’m saying stop trying SO HARD. It’s never a good look. I’m sure there are guys in your life who you are uninterested in. I bet you’d wish some of them would stop trying so hard.
Whether it’s texting too damn much. Calling to damn much. Emailing too damn much. It’s just never a good look for a guy to blatantly try too hard. Figuring out the angle to show off your hip bone while concealing your dick????????????
THAT’S TRYING TOO HARD.
“I don’t approve of her OR the guys showing their hipbones, but I won’t voice too many complaints about the latter.”
Yeah will I WILL. Cause shit has gotten out of control. Hell, it’s the purpose for this series.
GET IT TOGETHER FELLAS
LOL!! Love it. First, yes…Reina is a detonator. Also, totally agree about Ginuwine. The sideburns…he should be slapped. In fact, I think you’re being lenient. Topless photos also reek of desperation. You dont need a “How Does It Feel?” moment to make a first impression.
“And about the girl with no panties, she’s doing her. It wouldn’t be me, and I will judge her though I shouldn’t. But men still like it. I don’t approve of her OR the guys showing their hipbones, but I won’t voice too many complaints about the latter.”
Well said, Reina!